Are "Asian Fetishes" A Myth? We're Gonna Have To Go With "No"

Illustration for article titled Are Asian Fetishes A Myth? Were Gonna Have To Go With No

A bunch of economists are once again putting their decades of rigorous study to a societally optimal end and dispelling the "myth" of the Asian fetish. In studies of speed dating communities, it turned out, Caucasian men showed no racial preference at all for Asian women; in fact, male speed daters showed no racial preferences at whatsoever! To which I call, "bullshit." (Remind me to tell you about my "Asian" phone sex persona one time!) And I know because I practically am Asian that when talking about the AZNs we are allowed to talk about stereotypes without regard for the numerous and glaring exceptions out there, so here goes: there are a few reasons some dudes prefer Asian women, and it starts with the fact that they are very rarely unattractive, and they are even more rarely stupid, and they are even more rarely than that fat. They have really nice skin and they're not afraid to tell you yours looks bad.

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But the guys who make a "fetish" out of correlations like that — they're probably not the type you'd find speed-dating. They're usually not that decisive, and they don't want that many choices, or to subject themselves to that volume of scrutiny. Sometimes they're gay-ish, sometimes they're just busy, there are tons of issues involved and suffice it to say, you probably don't want to be with someone whose issues number in the "tons." Not that they'd necessarily give you the choice; I lived in Hong Kong for two years and I think I got laid once. And that would be why I no longer live there!

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DISCUSSION

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I'm glad to see the half Filipinos representin' here abouts.

I'm currently dating a white man who, thankfully, ain't a fetishist. I find that I tend to date white men, though I've gone on individual dates with pretty much every kind of man. I try no to see people as representatives of their race but rather as individuals who have had, to varying degrees, experiences where their ethnicity has shaped their world view. As someone actively interested in the history of the construct of race and its impact on gender relations, I explore this aspects in most of my relationships.

From my own experiences and reading, I find that submissiveness is actually a very complicated feature of the immigration experience of many asian women. Though perhaps in their original country, they are expected to save face and keep quiet, once in the united states asian women (including my mom) "find their voice" and, honestly, you can't get them to shut up. It's a trait they seem to pass on to their daughters. It's a stereotype and relationship dynamic that could use further academic exploration (hm...ideas for grad school...).

The idea that I'm "exotic" bothers me, too. I once asked a guy friend, in a conversation about physical appearance, what parts of me he liked best. He said, without even blinking or laughing "The asian parts." I literally punched him in the face.

I'd like to point out, though, that fetishism goes both ways. I had a Burmese friend once say "You know, I know yellow fever is wrong, but it's so damn convenient!" her preference for white men and general absurd racism towards blacks and asian people drove a wedge between us. Strangely, though she exploited asian fetishism in white men, she has none of the personal characteristics that they seem to look for. Bitch is tough has nails and will beat the living shit out of you if you look at her the wrong way.