Apologies to Pete Davidson’s Dick, Which Is ‘Forever Hard’ Thanks to Ariana Grande

When asked what it’s like to be engaged to Ariana Grande at a Q&A during “Auburn University’s Welcome Week” (who the hell even knows why he was there), Pete Davidson said, “It’s like what you would think it would be like but like a 100 times sicker. I’m a very, very happy boy who is very, very loved and I’m very lucky.” Then he paused before adding, “And my dick’s forever hard.”

Seems unpleasant.

In other news, Grande has reportedly retitled her album and updated all the cover art:

[Instagram]

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And now here’s another Pete and Ariana story! Grande clapped the hell back at a tweet from Barstool Sports that described her beloved as having “butthole eyes,” whatever that means. It’s since been deleted, but remains in screengrab form.

Don’t mess with Ariana!!!!

[ONTD]

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• This Chrissy Teigen story is confusing and I’m not sure that I care enough to really figure it out. [Page Six]
• “Noah Cyrus is getting candid about her battle with depression and how it’s shaped her new music.” [People]
• Jim Parsons is SO thankful to everyone at The Big Bang Theory for making him crazy rich. [Variety]
• Do you care about Robin Thicke’s sperm? [Celebitchy]
• OMG Sam!!!! [ET Online]