Chris Brown just can't seem to stop pissing off gigantic people who want to punch him in the face. Earlier this week, the perpetually shit eating grin-wearing singer once again couldn't resist the siren's call of spazzing out at a detractor on Twitter, accusing him of having shrunken genitalia. That detractor was professional wrestler CM Punk, and now Punk, calmly and rationally, has offered via video to kick the living daylights out of Brown. Is someone popping popcorn for this?
Punk originally tweeted,
I would like @chrisbrown fight somebody that can defend themselves. Me curb stomping that turd would be a #wrestlemania moment.
Brown followed that up with,
@CMPunk needs more followers. He's such a leader! Not to mention the roids hes on has made it utterly impossible for him pleasure a women.
Brown's handlers (I hope they're paid well) later had the singer delete the response, but the damage was already done. Punk was irked, and in the tradition of angry gentlemen past, he issued a challenge to Brown. A gentleman's duel, if you will.
Punk (birth name Phillip Jack Brooks) is a straight edger, you see, which means that he actively avoids drugs and alcohol. Accusing someone who makes it a point to eschew drugs of using steroids is pretty serious affront. In response, he issued a video wherein he scolds Brown, and in a terrifyingly calm voice, issues a challenge,
So Chris wants to throw stones my way now. And I say, that's fine, but put some gloves on and get in the ring. I—I will choke you out. And I will make you feel as weak and as powerless, and scared, and alone as any woman who has the misfortune of knowing a sad, cowardly little boy such as yourself. All proceeds can go to a women's shelter of my choosing. If you wanna pick up more trash on the side of the highway to make some amends, you should donate some more time. Maybe tell kids exactly what you did. It isn't right. But I'm also a realist, and I know that none of these things will happen because Chris Brown isn't a man. And that's fine. Because I know that someday, somewhere, somehow, somebody will put Chris Brown exactly where he belongs. And it honestly doesn't have to be me. I would just really like it to be.
It looks like Chris Brown's parents never taught him about financial responsibility, because he's writing checks left and right that his ass can't cash.