Illustration for article titled Ann Romneys Fancy Dancing Horse Is Headed to the Olympics

Because the Romneys are just normal, regular, down-to-earth human people like you and me—and certainly not extremely lifelike robot replicants that eat civil rights and poop out money—it's totally normal that they not only own a horse, but also had the time and resources to teach it to fucking dance. The Romneys' fancy horse son is so good at horse-dancing, in fact, it has been chosen to represent the Horse Nation in the 2012 Olympics and make all of horse-kind mega-proud. Totally. Normal. Just Like Us!


The New York Times reports:

Jan Ebeling, Mrs. Romney's longtime riding tutor, and his horse Rafalca, co-owned by Mrs. Romney, earned a berth on the United States Olympic dressage team on Saturday.

...As millions tune in to the Olympics in prime time this summer, just before Mr. Romney will be reintroducing himself to the nation at the Republican convention, viewers are likely to see "up close and personal" segments on NBC about the Romneys and dressage, a sport of six-figure horses and $1,000 saddles. The Romneys declared a loss of $77,000 on their 2010 tax returns for the share in the care and feeding of Rafalca.


God, I just really feel like the Romneys get me, you know? Like the time my doorman needed emergency hernia surgery so I had to use my own arms to get into my building, even though I was totally tuckered out from helicopter shopping. Or that time I accidentally dropped my money satchel into the outhouse toilet at Poor People Fantasy Camp and I had to wait for the janitor to climb in and fetch it for me! I missed snack time because of that. Now I'll never know what Totinos Pizza Rolls taste like.

Seriously though, I'm pretty sure this magic dancing horse is the most likable thing about the Romneys. So you go, horse. You go.

Photo credit: blasbike / Stockfresh.

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