Ann Coulter posted a curious "open letter to readers" on her website last night, proclaiming herself to be ending the "sick joke" that is her supposed conservatism. "Eleven years is a long time to be living a fake life," she writes, and goes on to apologize for that crap she said about the Jews that wasn't really that shocking at all. Is it all another "sick joke" played by the "web admins" she addresses at the end? I went through some old Ann Coulter clippings for clues. And turned up with this from her cover profile in TIME:

"They're terrible people, liberals. They believe—this can really summarize it all—these are people who believe," she said, now raising her voice, "you can deliver a baby entirely except for the head, puncture the skull, suck the brains out and pronounce that a constitutional right has just been exercised. That really says it all. You don't want such people to like you!"

And I thought, "Yeah, that's performance art all right." (And also: "Thank god for RU-486.")

I've been participating in a charade for nearly eleven years, now. Quite frankly, I'm sick of it. You have all been a part of a sick joke that I began considering shortly after first getting on the air. At first, it was quite interesting to see how people would react when I would use twisted logic and poorly masked bigotry.

But eleven years is a long time to be living a fake life, and I can no longer tolerate this falsity. Even someone as fake as I tires out eventually.

Here's the truth, I don't care what people believe. Jews don't need to be "made perfect" as I so arrogantly proclaimed to Editor & Publisher not a half week ago. I don't even care if people are Muslim. Granted, I don't know much about the religion or the people, but they are people. This is something that we cannot forget, they are in an abhorrent situation. These people are in need of education. Perhaps if we did not participate in causing them misery, they would not hate us so.

In fact, does it really matter whether we are Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Atheist, or even Pagan? We are one nation. One. We should not let petty differences separate us, we are all American, and should act in that manner.

And with that, my precious viewers, I bid you adieu. My career as a media figurehead is over.


Ann Coulter

P.S. - Oh, and Bill O'Reilly is also just acting.

Haha, did it again. Oh, those silly web admins...they just embarrass themselves.

(Admins, check for an e-mail address in the CMS. Find it. I know you will.)

[UPDATE: You say this is a "hack," whereby I thought it was a "prank." Either way, fun times. I really can't spend any more time thinking about this really. I was going to, like, try and write my own letter here, but like, fuck it. There are fashion magazines to skewer, guys.]


An Open Letter To Readers [Ann Coulter]