And Oh My God, Here Is a Zonkey

The donkey worked in finance. The zebra worked in fashion. They never would have met if their mutual friend Matt had not thrown that dumb party, but they met on the bathroom line and hit it off, and now we have a ZONKEY.

Above, please find three-week-old Italian Zonkey named Ippo. While certainly unique, she is not the only known zonkey — there is a three-year-old in Georgia’s Chestatee Wildlife Preserve, where she “hasn’t faced any ostracism for being different.” Here’s hoping Ippo has the same luck.

Also: I can’t speak Italian, but hopefully she is saying something more uplifting than the L.A. Times’ bummer of a headline: “Super-cute baby zonkey, not for sale, probably sterile.” Way to suck the fun out of an adorable living, breathing portmanteu, you guys.