By tomorrow, Alyssa from D.C. will be nothing but a footnote in pop culture history; even now she’s already just a few sentences in articles about last night’s U2 concert, which featured a performance by Paul Simon. But before we forget her completely, let’s discuss the woman who pissed off thousands of die-hard Bono fans.
The Associated Press reports that the concert, which took place at Madison Square Garden, was a special one for the band. Besides Simon, who joined the band for a few minutes, and Laurie Andersen (who was in the audience), Bono had a few very special guests of his own in the audience: the firefighters who came to his aid after he crashed his bike in Central Park last year, and the woman who saw it happen and called for help.
Everything was going really well until Bono called the woman, whose name it doesn’t appear he knew in the first place, called the woman up to recount the story to the audience:
“I am here today because some people, when I crashed my bike here in the city, a beautiful girl made a phone call to 911. She’s from Denver, but she’s here tonight. And so is Engine 44, the firefighters that picked me up off the ground,” he said.
Bono then handed the microphone to the responders to recount the story.
“So I have to clarify, it’s Alyssa and I’m from D.C., not Denver,” the woman said.
Quick thinking! And funny! The audience immediately took to Alyssa, who continued in a fashion she thought might earn her a few more accolades.
“Here’s what happened: I was running in Central Park, there was an accident, obviously I had to stop and help because I’m not from New York, I’m from Virginia, where people are nice,” she said as the audience booed as she tried to finish the story.
Goddamnit! Now we’ll never know if Bono made it.
No one has any more news on Alyssa, who probably spent the entire night staring straight up at the ceiling unable to sleep because thousands had booed her, but she probably won’t be making a return appearance at tonight’s show, which marks the close of the North American leg of the band’s tour.
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