And Here Is A Macy's Necklace That Resembles An Inflamed Vulva

Hey, dudes: Memorial Day, arguably the most romantic holiday of the year (although Arbor Day and International Tuba Day are also conducive to getting your fuck on), is fast approaching, and it is time for you to select a gift for the lady in your life. What better gift than this undeniably labial-looking Amazonian seed pod necklace? And here are some additional traits that this necklace shares with our very special nuggetflowers:

  • Bold colors.
  • Exotic scents.
  • Sensual textures.
  • Natural sensations.
  • Size varies due to unique nature of item.
  • 10% of the sale price of this product will benefit The Nature Conservancy and its efforts to protect the Amazon Rainforest.

It's kind of like those commercials that are like "He went to Jared," but with an addendum like "And then he got an STD from Jared, and then he gave it to your necklace." And if you get her the matching Scrotum Earrings and Grundle Bracelet, she'll know that you will soon be providing more than enough healthy livestock for her dowry. :D

Image via Christo/Shutterstock.

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