An Imagined Conversation In The Pit

Illustration for article titled An Imagined Conversation In The Pit

Kiefer: Yeah, see, Cindy, I feel this real connection to your husband. I mean, I was held by the Chinese government and tortured for years, he was held by the Vietnamese government and tortured for years. I tackled a Christmas tree, he tackled campaign finance reform. It's like we're the same person.
Cindy: [thinking] God, where the fuck is the Secret Service when you really need them? Or at least some downers or something, anything to stop his incessant yammering. Can he tell I'm just staring at his mouth?

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DISCUSSION

stoprobbers
stoprobbers

I wish he would tackle her like he tackled the Christmas tree.

I wish he would tackle everything like he tackled the Christmas tree. All day. During his normal life. Like, on the way out of the Starbucks, tackle the display. At the DMV, tackle a traffic cone. On the way into your building, tackle the doorman.