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America's Love Unicorn Taylor Swift to Write Sad Songs About Parents' Split

Illustration for article titled Americas Love Unicorn Taylor Swift to Write Sad Songs About Parents Split

Hot off the presses: Local Woman Unable to Save Own Parents' Marriage With Romantic Crossover Ballads That Have Brought Love Into the Lives of Millions.


It seems that Miss Taylor Swift, in addition to being a pop princess, a possible future Schwarzenegger and a proud wearer of Ladies of the Canyon steez all around Los Angeles, is the product of a broken home. Her parents Andrea and Scott Swift have been separated for at least two years, unbeknownst to the press until now, but have been holding off divorce proceedings in order to avoid hurting Tay-Tay vis-a-vis her career. Do they not know that hurting Tay-Tay always helps her career? Just ask John Mayer!

Sure enough, a source says:

[Taylor] has been going through a lot. The new album will showcase the pain of her parents' separation.


Also, when you think about it, her song "Mine" kind of foreshadowed this, not that I listen closely to her songs yes I do. [Radar Online]

Illustration for article titled Americas Love Unicorn Taylor Swift to Write Sad Songs About Parents Split

In more Love Is Dead news, Jon Hamm has maybe been stepping out on his longtime girlfriend Jennifer Westfeldt, cruising at bars and hitting on ladies—surprisingly, somewhat poorly. One bar bystander Tweeted: "They had no game. They just bought drinks for every mediocre girl they approached, and the girls dipped after 10 min of convo." Supposedly he even "got handsy" with an Italian actress at a Bulgari dinner. Jon Hamm is no more. He has now fused with Don Draper to become Donjon Draperham. [The Daily]

Illustration for article titled Americas Love Unicorn Taylor Swift to Write Sad Songs About Parents Split

This will shock 0% of people who watch Keeping Up With The Kardashians, but it turns out that Kourtney Kardashian's longtime boyfriend Scott Disick was actually a horrible little fucker in high school. Allegedly he and a friend used to cruise around the Hamptons, pick up girls, secretly film themselves having sex with them, and then go through their purses and steal shit. But this is from a crazy fame-mongering ex-girlfriend named Brittany Reichek, so who the hell knows. [Daily Mail]

Illustration for article titled Americas Love Unicorn Taylor Swift to Write Sad Songs About Parents Split

Rihanna and Chris Brown were kissing in plain sight on her party boat, the S.S. Bad Decisions. Leonardo DiCaprio, Kanye West and Kim Kardashian were there. YOU GUYS, IF YOU SEE SOMETHING, SAY SOMETHING. [NYDN]

Also, here is Rihanna going parasailing. [NYDN]

Illustration for article titled Americas Love Unicorn Taylor Swift to Write Sad Songs About Parents Split

And now, an R-Patz reconnaissance roundup:

"Rob and Kristen [Stewart] were having a long and intense conversation backstage [at the Teen Choice Awards], and he looked miserable, heartbroken and humiliated. She was pleading..." "Rob is deeply in love with Kristen and is very jealous when other men hit on her. This will crush him..." "Rob is really hurt by Kristen. Catching her cheating is not at all what he expected from her..." "Rob is in shock that Kristen cheated on him, he is absolutely devastated. But right now he doesn't want to say anything in public until he figures out what he's going to do." [The Sun]


  • Security strong-armed a dude offstage after he jumped on to grope Nicki Minaj. [Daily Mail]
  • Rapper Miss Melodie is dead at 43. [The Grio]
  • Sir Paul McCartney is advocating on behalf of an abused baby elephant. [Times of India]
  • "This is my favorite thing in life," says Lady Gaga in response to Disnified fan art of herself. [Facebook]
  • Liam Hemsworth may be starting a clothing line. [MTV]
  • Do you want to model for new plus-size denim line Kardashian Kurves? YOU ONLY GET ONE SHOT, DO NOT MISS YOUR CHANCE TO BLOW. [Daily Mail]
  • Meanwhile, Ashley Greene says the press is kind of a cockblock. []
  • Kevin Jonas feels "empowered" by DIY projects around the house. Come make me a hardwood floor, Kevin Jonas. [Belfast Telegraph]
  • Mariah Carey is not making outrageous backstage demands at American Idol. More importantly, her past backstage demands have included "20 white kittens, butterfly-shaped confetti, baskets of puppies, white roses and a tea service for eight. What even. [NDTV]
  • It was hard for Keira Knightley to get over being shat on for her acting in Love Actually. [HuffPo UK]
  • Usher's stepson's funeral is tomorrow. [Monsters and Critics]
  • Game Of Thrones actress Lena Headey is getting divorced. [E! Online]
  • Fred Willard's wife is supporting him through the whole dick-out thing. This is all I have to say. [TMZ]
  • The ultimate Jennifer Lopez birthday party quote: "She then embarked on an 'intense' and 'hot' salsa dance-off." [Page Six]
  • "There are no ‘Help Wanted' signs in Hollywood. And the guards of the gate are not there to keep you in." —ominous advice Matthew McConaughey gives aspiring actors. [Page Six]
  • Nick Lachey's face in this picture of him palming Vanessa Lachey's very-pregnant belly. [People]
  • Warner Brothers is postponing Ryan Gosling/Emma Stone starrer Gangster Squad. [THR]
  • This would be George Clooney on a motorcycle. [Us Weekly]
  • Spy Kid Alexa Vega is all grown up and Instagramming semi-softcore pictures of herself. [Instagram]

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Yeah, I say bullshit on the Jon Hamm item (and not just to save my fragile Hamm-loving ego). I know that when my boyfriend and his likewise committed friends go out to bars, they talk to ladies, because if you're not going to talk to people when you go out you would probably just stay home, drink Franzia, and yell at the contestants on Chopped reruns (which we do plenty of). Talking to somebody, buying them a drink even because you have a bajillion dollars, and then moving on after ten minutes sounds like normal bar behavior to me. If he really wanted to cheat, he would find a much lower-profile way to do it.