All the Weirdo Pet Owners in NY Can Finally Be Buried with Their Pets

Unless you’re an abusive asshole, nobody should be able to separate you from your pet, not even Death. However, until just recently, the State of New York wouldn’t let pet cemeteries handle human remains.

That all changed this week when New York Department of State finally decided that it was totally fine for pet cemeteries to bury animals of any species or breed with their human companions, just so long as pet cemeteries don’t charge a fee for human burials and don’t advertise human burials with giant billboards along the interstate that look like this:

The push to ensure that pet owners could spend all the time until the eschatological day of the living dead snuggling underground with their pets began with upstate attorney Taylor York’s campaign to get the State to allow her recently-deceased uncle, a former NYPD cop, to be buried with his three Malteses in Hartsdale Cemetery, a 117-year-old pet cemetery that is probably mega-haunted with zombie lap dogs and green-eyed cats.

Although the cemetery had already lowered some 700 human remains into the foul earth, the State wouldn’t let Hartsdale’s lifeless remains mix with his beloved Maltese’s, forcing his niece to campaign for two years to ensure that Hartsdale could officially admit humans. Even after York’s push ended in 2011, New York’s six other pet cemeteries were still not really allowed to bury pets with humans until this month’s rule change, which proves, along with the following blind quotes from pet lovers interviewed by the Daily News for this pet cemetery article, that people love their pets so much in America that they’re willing to struggle against government bureaucracy in order to ensure eternal companionship:

“They didn’t have any children. Each (Maltese), was their pride and joy.”

“A pet relationship, some believe, including me, is a different relationship.”

“It would be an honor to be buried with this dog.”

“Dogs are like people. They’re better than people, actually.”

“I want some of my ashes to be fed to my dog, like mixed up with his food or something.”

“He’s [as in, this dog is] my son.”

You don’t really love your pet until you reserve a twin cemetery plot. Those of you who are content to bury your pet in your yard are just tourists.