All of the Mad Men Loose Ends Matthew Weiner Wanted to Tie Up But Didn't

Today, a senior writer for Entertainment Weekly tweeted out a photo of what he claims was Matthew Weiner’s “wish list” for the end of Mad Men. With the knowledge of hindsight, it’s about as tragically unfulfilled as a a four-year-old girl’s “Dear Santa, Please bring me a pony” letter.

The wish list was reportedly whipped out at a Writers Guild Foundation Q&A, and now it’s all over the internet, tormenting you. Among the stories that Weiner reportedly wanted to see resolved were Peggy’s secret baby (where is it?), Roger’s ex wife Mona, Dr. Faye, and Sal. What in the world happened to gay ol’ Sal? We’ll never know. We’ll never fucking know.

While we’re on the topic of Mad Men loose ends, here are some things I wish had happened before or during the finale:

Joan’s rapist ex-husband’s dick explodes in Vietnam
Diana turns out to be a secret agent
Hey, what happened to Rory Gilmore? Is she still in that insane asylum?
Gross Jaguar (car) guy gets eaten by an actual jaguar (cat)
Duck’s abandoned dog learns how to drive a go kart
Is Paul still a Hare Krishna or what?
Remember that group of sex hippies Don hung out with in California at the end of Season 2? Well, they eventually became… the Scooby Doo gang.
Secret agent Diana arrests Don, as she’s cuffing him, delivers sassy line about how throughout human history, if you want to take a man down you gotta go for his crotch.