When I first wrote about the forthcoming show Whatever, Martha, in which Martha Stewart's spawn Alexis mocks old episodes of her mother's show, I thought it would be distinctly not a good thing. I remain resolute in my feeling that the show will hit the wrong notes — who wants to hear a daughter telling people that her mother, a beloved television hostess, didn't like her own child very much? — but after reading New York Magazine's profile of Alexis in this week's issue, I think the show will, at the very least, be amusing because Alexis has a disease that laypeople call "diarrhea of the mouth". (I'm not a doctor, but I'm pretty sure Alexis has a fatal case.) After the jump, the best quotes from the NY Mag profile, including a very special dig at a very famous c-u-next-Tuesday and Alexis's unvarnished opinion of Martha's mothering.Alexis on her incipient OCD: "If you listen to the show, you'll know that my area has to be calm before I can calm down…Not my vaginal area. I just meant my work area." Alexis on the source of her "honesty": "Maybe it was because [co-host Jennifer Koppelman Hutt and I] were raised where we didn't really have to kiss anybody's ass." Alexis on the East Hampton gym she owned in the 90s: "If you're nasty to me in my place of business, I'm going to be really nasty back. I'd be like, ‘Get the F out … And then they'd say, ‘You can't do that!' I was like, ‘Yeah, I can. I can't kick you out because you're short, or gay, but I can kick you out because you're an asshole.' " Alexis on Koppelman Hutt's friends: "I hate all her friends, and if I don't do exactly what they're expecting me to, they'll freak out because I'm a bitch. I don't tap-dance…[Her] Jappy Long Island friends." Alexis on her "media training": "My media training was when I was 22 and some C-U-N-T named Candace Bushnell came to interview me about my mother…I learned very quickly." Alexis on Martha: "She didn't like me. But then again not many people do like me…People like to say that Martha didn't pay attention to me, and that's just not true. [Beat.] Maybe not the right kind of attention." How Did Martha Stewart End Up With Howard Stern's Baby? [NY Mag] Earlier: Martha Stewart's Daughter Takes Therapy Sessions Public With New Show
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I've been told by those who have worked with her/known her that she is a seriously bitchy woman. Which I totally believe after seeing her on Oprah talking about her barren womb. And for the only time in my life I thought "maybe you just should take it as a sign and pass on kids". I felt bad about thinking that...but not that bad.