Al Qaeda Expands Into Women's Magazines

Illustration for article titled Al Qaeda Expands Into Womens Magazines

As big fans of al Qaeda's magazine Inspire (favorite article: "Make a Bomb in the Kitchen of Your Mom"), we're equally excited for their new project, al Shamikha ("The Majestic Woman"), which The Daily Mail calls "Jihad Cosmo." What can readers look forward to? Besides interviews with the wives of Islamist martyrs, "features on the merits of honey facemasks, etiquette, first aid and why readers should avoid 'towelling too forcibly'." We had been thinking that what Cosmo was really missing was a healthy dose of religious fanaticism and a few passionate exhortations to violence, so we can't wait to read the article "that urges readers to give their lives for the Islamist cause." [Daily Mail]


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Five Ways To Turn On Your Man!

1. Behead his adulterous sister!

2. Keep him interested by walking six instead of five paces behind him!

3. Blow yourself up in a town square!

4. Compliment his other wives!

5. Role play that you are one of the virgins in the Martyr's Paradise (Edit comment)