Ain't Too Proud To Keep Our Knees Shut

In a survey that in no way suffers from self-selection or reporting bias, the Vatican says that women are too proud and men fuck too much. There’s no way both those things are true.

Yes, that’s right, the Church headed by a man who proclaims his own infallibility, is waited on hand and foot, dresses in sumptuous clothing and presumably eats whatever he wants (given that he’s German, we’re assuming it involves lots of sausage) has determined that, as with everything else in Catholic life, men and women’s sins fall within strictly proscribed gender roles. According to Monsignor Wojciech Giertych:

The most difficult sin for men to face was lust, followed by gluttony, sloth, anger, pride, envy and greed.

For women, the most dangerous sins were pride, envy, anger, lust, and sloth, he added.

Basically, men wish to fuck, eat a lot, lie around and get fat, get pissed off that you fucked and fed them and let them lie around, nonetheless brag about the sizes of their penii, envy the sizes of other men’s penii and then make money. Women, on the other hand, are too proud of their looks, envious of other women’s looks, pissed off about the fat men sitting around eating and fucking all the time, fuck their now-more-attractive athletic trainers and then lounge around afterwards. Man, Catholicism sounds like fun until all that fire and brimstone shit at the end!

We’re All Sinners But The Gates To Hell Are Marked His And Hers [The Times]
Two Sexes ‘Sin In Different Ways’ [BBC]