Abortion Ruins the Communal Shower Experience, Says Rick Santorum

Like an irritatingly tenacious but not particularly cool or tough Batman villain (Penguin), greasy uterine crusader Rick Santorum refuses to accept defeat. Normally, I’d recommend ignoring everything the man says on account of the fact that he’s ridiculous/irrelevant, but every once in awhile, there’s a spike in his batshittery noteworthy enough that it’s worth a chuckle. This is one of those times.

At a Students for Life event, Santorum delivered a speech that mourned the enthusiasm gap between liberals and conservatives. I think. Actually, I’m not sure whatthefuck he’s saying here in this clip except that it has something to do with liberals using abortion to ruin Rick Santorum’s gym shower fantasies.

“They make it uncomfortable for students who come to Austin to shower at a Young Men’s Christian Association, YMCA, gym, because they live it,” he said. “Because they live it. They’re passionate, they’re willing to do and say uncomfortable things in mixed company. They’re willing to make the sacrifice at their business because they care enough.”

I, personally, get all of my abortions in the shower at the gym. Much less messy than doing it at church.

I’d really love to have a sit-down with Rick Santorum and discover what he doesn’t blame on abortion. The Pittsburgh Pirates? Misspelled nail art? Dollar bills that smell like armpit? Suggestions welcome.