A Valedictorian Gave the Speech We All Wrote in Our Heads Every Shitty Day of High School

A California valedictorian used her commencement speech to call out the indifference of authority figures that is all too often a significant part of why high school sucked so much for so many of us.

In her speech to San Ysidro High School, Nataly Buhr thanked all the involved, compassionate teachers with a genuine investment in her success along with the people who could not have cared less until it was time to take credit for her achievements:

“To my counselor, thanks for teaching me to fend for myself. You were always unavailable to my parents and I, despite appointments,” Buhr said. “Only in these past few weeks, with the awards ceremonies and graduation coming up, did you begin making your appearance. And might I note, you expressed to me the joy in knowing that one of your students was valedictorian when you had absolutely no role in my achievements.”

She went on to thank office staff who neglected to tell her about scholarships and “the teacher who was regularly intoxicated during class this year,” which caused her classmates to cheer.

A spokesperson for the school gave this very predictable statement in response: “While we definitely welcome the concerns of students and their families regarding any situation at one of our schools, doing so in such a manner without any prior knowledge of this situation by the school, is not the right way of handling this. Ultimately this takes away from what should have been a day of celebration for the school and their community.”

God, high school really is its own parody. Also, Nataly, you obviously have a bright future ahead, but consider coming to write for Jezebel should things go alarmingly off course for you.