A Perverted Bird Has Been Stealing Swimmers' Underwear in Scotland

Prowling for underpants, probably.
Prowling for underpants, probably.

Skinny dippers in the vicinity of Scotland’s Glen Esk would be advised to stow their underwear securely, lest a bird of prey swoop down from the sky and steal their shorts.


The Telegraph talked to Dave Clement, “a gamekeeper on the Gannochy estate in the Angus glens,” none of which I understand, who keeps an eye on a family of red kites living within his domain, close to a spot popular with swimmers and, it seems, skinny dippers. Last year, Clement reported the red kites had apparently nabbed underwear from inattentive swimmers and used it for their nest Now he reports it’s happened again. Plus, they’ve upgraded to Armani.

Clement said:

The licensed ringer who went up the tree to the nest said there were Armani pants and another brand as well as socks, which they must have pinched off the swimmers at the local gorge.

It seems they will take anything to line the nest, then lay the eggs on top, and someone must have gone home minus some underwear.


“Someone must have gone home minus some underwear.” Not that this should come as a surprise to denizens of the United Kingdom; apparently red kites make a habit of thievery.

The red kite’s habit of “stealing” to make its nest is well known, and nests in England have been found to contain items including England flags, handbags, tea towels, lottery tickets and frilly knickers.

According to the RSPB, underwear, which has been taken off clothes lines in some areas, appears to be a favourite.

Guard your undergarments.

Photo via Getty Images.

Senior Editor, Attic Haunter, Jezebel

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if you’re wearing armani to the beach when you already have plans of skinny dipping, you’re doing things incorrectly