Guess the Senate Republicans Had a Tax Plan After All

Image via Getty
Image via Getty

If you sliced open my brain right now, you’d find the cross-section of a weird ham sandwich.


Here’s all the shit we couldn’t cover today:

  • Senate Republicans released their tax plan today, so if your bet was that they were just going to Garth and Kat their way through this, pull out your wallet. Their version is different from the House version in that it delays a corporate tax cut that Trump just loooooved and restores some popular tax breaks for the middle class. Nice of them not tell grad students and your grandparents to go fuck themselves. (NY Times)
  • Donald Trump built a golf course in the middle of some beautiful and ecologically important dunes in Scotland because he loves money and hates the environment. Those dunes will now lose their legal protection because his freakin’ golf course ruined them!!! [The Guardian]
  • Maine Secretary of State Matthew Dunlap has sued Donald Trump’s voter fraud commission in an effort to learn more about the commission he agreed to be on. “Since the September 12 meeting, I have received no correspondence from the commission other than to acknowledge receipt of my information request.” [HuffPost]
  • The mystery of Rand Paul’s broken bod gets more convoluted by the freaking minute. [NY Mag]
  • White House Chief of Staff John F. Kelly reportedly tried to bully acting Homeland Security secretary Elaine Duke into reversing her decision to extend the residency permits of Hondurans living in the United States because everyone and thing on Trump’s very short leash is absolutely terrible. [Washington Post]
  • In some nice news, the Vera Institute of Justice has launched a program to ensure immigrants facing deportation proceedings in 11 cities have access to legal representation, regardless of ability to pay. Called the Safety and Fairness for Everyone (SAFE) Cities Network, it will apply to people in Atlanta, Austin, Baltimore, Chicago, Columbus, Oakland and Alameda County, Sacramento, San Antonio, and Santa Ana, California; as well as Dane County, WI and Prince George’s County, MD. This announcement came on the same day that young people across the country staged a walkout from their collective colleges and high schools to protest in support of keeping the DREAM Act. In DC, they took over the Senate building, chanting and holding up their fists. Let’s keep it going! [Vera Institute, HuffPost]

Here are some tweets the president was allowed to publish:

This has been Barf Bag, which required four Jezebel staffers tonight because it’s just been that kind of a day leave us alone, Mom!


JujyMonkey: unstable genius

President Dotard accomplished absolutely NOTHING during his China visit. Pres Xi knee to play to his ego with spectacles, parades, and American hamburgers. Our “really smart businessman and master negotiator” was played like a midwestern rube at a Times Square 3-card monte game