A Handy State-By-State Ranking of Dick Size

A condom company has lovingly compiled a state-by-state ranking of dick size based on sales of large-sized condoms. Congratulations, North Dakota (Dickota?). Condolences, Mississippi.

There are plenty of things wrong/unscientific about list architect Condomania.com’s data gathering process, as TIME’s Jessica Roy points out. For starters, of course the results of a survey like this would skew rural; it’s utilizing data from a website where people order condoms by mail. If you can just pop down to the bodega for some Magnums, then why would you add several steps between you and safe sex? It also ignores the places where the guys with big penises opt to raw dog rather than wrap it up. On one hand, this study’s results are nothing more than entertaining discussion fodder about where men with large penises are more likely to order condoms from one specific online prophylactic emporium.

But on the other hand: dicks.

So, without further ado, here are the top ten Big Dick States, according to a website with the word “mania” in the name.

1. North Dakota
2. Rhode Island
3. South Dakota
4. Washington DC
5. Massachusetts
6. Ohio
7. Arizona
8. Alabama
9. New York
10. South Carolina

And whip out the world’s smallest violin for the 10 smallest.

40. Kentucky
41. Texas
42. Indiana
43. West Virginia
44. Missouri
45. Alaska
46. North Carolina
47. Wyoming
48. Arkansas
49. Hawaii
50. Mississippi

The full list is available here.

Guys, if you’re reading this and feeling judged/insecure, here’s a lady secret: size doesn’t matter to all women as much as pop culture says it does. Not even close.