Inspired by our 24-Hour Product Diaries, Jezebel brings you Dirtbag Product Diaries, a video series showcasing the beauty routines keeping us afloat during isolation.

A friend of mine recently offered to buy me a string of waist beads. When I thanked her and asked if there was a reason for this unexpected generosity, she responded “Beauty is precious & necessary & I love spreading it.” (For more on the necessity of beauty, I highly recommend listening to this Toni Morrison interview on the Paris Review podcast.)

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For years, I thought of aspiring towards physical beauty as frivolous or vain. It took me much too long to realize that as a writer, what I am constantly striving towards is a kind of beauty—a beauty formed and defined on my own terms, but a beauty all the same. What else do you call the desire to write a perfect sentence?

In recent months, experimenting with makeup has taught me new ways to see my face as beautiful. (In service of that same goal, I also recently re-dyed my hair and cut a slit in my eyebrow. I’m on a bit of a body modification kick.) I’m not suggesting you put on a full face of makeup on a daily basis in the midst of a global pandemic and nationwide protests against police violence, but there can be something both meditative and creative about picking up a brush and painting fuchsia lines on my face—about aspiring to beauty as I define it.

Freelance writer who loves sandwiches, astrology, & fighting on the internet.

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DISCUSSION

JaneLucPicard
Jane-Luc Picard

Beautiful! You’re so right that makeup *should* be fun!

I was also so slow getting into makeup and now feel like I’m too old to do this kind of thing? But fuck it, what else is isolation for?!

Next Sephora order might just include some of that urban decay product, love it.

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