A $6,390 Toilet For Your Precious Ass

Kohler’s new high-tech (and high-priced) toilet, the Numi, is a throne fit for a queen. Featuring a bidet, deodorizer and dryer, foot-warmer, automatic flush, speakers that allows the user to play pre-programmed music or FM radio, stainless-steal cleansing wand, and an “intuitive” auto open-and-close lid and seat that senses the potty-goer’s very presence, it might be the most sophisticated piece of equipment into which anyone could ever expel excrement.

“It’s got a huge cool factor,” said president, David Kohler, about the toilet. To drive that point home, the company has decided to go with a nonsensical ad campaign that features a beautiful, well-dressed couple posing around a Numi in a glass house. Let’s be real: the only time people like that spend a lot of time hanging out in the bathroom together is when they’re doing coke.