9 Really Weird Christmas Ornaments From Bronner's

Illustration for article titled 9 Really Weird Christmas Ornaments From Bronner's

Even though Fall doesn't officially begin until next week, the Christmas catalogs have already begun to arrive. While I get that Christmas trees aren't necessarily "Christian" — they can be a fun way to celebrate the otherwise cold and dark winter season with light and color — there are some extremely odd ornaments for sale in the new catalog from Bronner's. Oh, I'm not talking about the usual wacky stuff: Snowmen, moose, birds, dolphins, vintage cars, Santa drinking wine, Betty Boop, frogs getting married, pirate ships, Hello Kitty, unicorns. I'm talking about seriously crazy items that will make even the most traditional among you say, well, Christ. What is this holiday really all about? Gadgets, pop icons, food products and mythic beasts, after the jump.

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Illustration for article titled 9 Really Weird Christmas Ornaments From Bronner's

Whatever happened to teddy bears and toy trains? Cell phones are childs' play now.

Illustration for article titled 9 Really Weird Christmas Ornaments From Bronner's

Seriously, this is just weird. It's not like a digital camera is an aesthetically pleasing objét, like a Littman.

Illustration for article titled 9 Really Weird Christmas Ornaments From Bronner's

Just to be clear: The cinnamon roll and the Coke-toting Santa make sense, but the pizza? The peanut butter and jelly sandwich? Are those Christmas-y? The obvious "weird" winner here: The "deli sandwich."

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Illustration for article titled 9 Really Weird Christmas Ornaments From Bronner's

Move over Jesus, there's another King on the tree!

Illustration for article titled 9 Really Weird Christmas Ornaments From Bronner's
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Move over Elvis, there's another King on the tree! Tut, what a nut. And for the love of Horus, isn't there a conflict of interest in having a Pharaoh on a Christian symbol?

Illustration for article titled 9 Really Weird Christmas Ornaments From Bronner's
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A Mayan temple. On the same page as a margarita. With all this mixing of religions, why not just throw in a Menorah????

Illustration for article titled 9 Really Weird Christmas Ornaments From Bronner's
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Okay then.

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"Mommy, did the dinosaurs come before or after Adam and Eve?" Okay, okay, I know that there are plenty of Christians who believe in T. Rex. I'm just wondering about the other ones. Anyway, what's Christmas without a sense of humor, right? Otherwise, this would not exist:

Illustration for article titled 9 Really Weird Christmas Ornaments From Bronner's
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[Bronner's]

DISCUSSION

inkymonkey-old
Inkymonkey

God now I'm all fulla nostalgia. Going to have to drag the husband to Frankenmuth the next time we go visit my family. I may have to tranq him for Bronners, but I know he will love the whole chicken-dinner-lederhosen-boards-of-bread-and-sausage thing. And that one little shop shaped like a piece of cheese. And the fudge. Holy Christ.