'70s European Children's Book Depicts Penetration, Crowning

Denmark is very socially progressive—the first country to legalize pornography and same-sex unions—so it's fitting that a Danish author, Per Holm Knudsen, wrote How a Baby Is Made, an incredibly detailed children's book that depicts penetration and crowning.

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Originally titled The True Story of How Babies are Made, the book was first published in 1973.


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This is a baby.


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This is the baby's parents, both of whom are fond of horizontal stripes.


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Mom's carpet matches the curtains.


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The father's definition of "large" seems relative, if not completely inaccurate, but the mother is OK with that, because the large ones kind of hurt anyway.


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Danish kissing is just like French kissing, minus the tongues.


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Shrinkage can be a problem for some men, but Danish kissing can take the focus away from the crotch. Magicians refer to this as "redirection."


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When parents are very much in love, they hang out together in the nude.


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Like all the time.


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And the vagina in the middle of the father's chest doesn't even freak out the mother.


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The father, however, is sometimes freaked out by the mother's see-thru belly.


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But that's no reason to put on clothes.


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After all, passionless nudity is natural.


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But when it's time to go to the hospital, the parents have to put on the clothes they removed nine months earlier.


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Because it would've been weird to drive around naked, even if they do own a hippie love van, and people in town expect that kind of thing from them.


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The mother appears unperturbed by labor pains, or the fact that her doctor has blood-drenched shoes.


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The doctor nervously grips the candlestick holder that he bought at Ikea, and prepares himself for the worst, in case the baby is evil and needs to be clubbed.


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The baby exits the vagina kind of drunk. Luckily he isn't a violent drunk, but one of those happy drunks who just wants to hug everyone in the room. The doctor feels relieved about this.


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The father, a known nudist, would like to remove his clothing like the rest of his family, but the doctor, whose behavior has been odd, won't leave the room.


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The family is happy to be at home, and the father is happy to see a breast, even though he isn't the one who gets to suck on it.


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Their friends and relatives, although happy about the baby, are not pictured here because they don't want their names or faces to be associated with any of this.


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Real talk.


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If you view this sideways, it looks like a tampon exiting a vagina, which is kind of the opposite of a sperm going into an egg. So this is like one of those optical illusion illustrations on display at the Franklin Institute.


YOU GETTIN' THIS? [12 oz. Prophet]

DISCUSSION

KentuckyBabe
KentuckyBabe

I haz a major want for this book.

my mom had a real picture book so I saw REAL crowning and birth. believe it or not it really didn't faze me.