Fly your Union Jack tour bus at half mast. Victoria Beckham — a.k.a Posh Spice — has reportedly left the Spice Girls for good, forgoing a reunion tour to focus more on her family and fashion line. Victoria's exit from the group was an amicable one; according to a source, "She has nothing but love and respect for all of the girls and the journey they went on together."
Good, because, in the words of the old poets, "friendship never ends." (And also, "zigazig ah.")
But how do the Spice Girls continue to exist in a post-Posh world? By turning to reality TV, of course. The Daily Record is claiming that, following the group's successful reunion at the 2012 Summer Olympics, fellow Spices Scary, Baby, Ginger and Sporty are all hoping to start touring again and, seeing as they can't relearn their choreography for only four people, might form a reality competition in order to find a fifth member.
Says another unnamed source (probably Elvis Costello):
"Emma and both the Melanies are busy for the next year but are talking about doing something afterwards.
"It is a dream of Geri's to get the girls back together for good, a bit like how Take That have done it.
"She has spoken to TV production companies about how it would work and has got herself very excited indeed. Things are gradually getting further down the line."
So, in other words, at some point in the next couple of years, we will all be moving to England to compete to be the next Spice Girl. This gives us plenty of time to pick out our Spice names (try to make it something modern like Irony or Skrillex Spice) and decide whether to wear the little Gucci dress, the little Gucci dress or the little Gucci dress.