Happy last-Dirt-Bag-of-the-year!!! Let's talk about death. There's no rhyme or reason—or significance, really—to grouping people together based on the year in which they died. It's pretty arbitrary, if you think about it. Tony Scott's suicide doesn't have anything to do with Michael Clarke Duncan's heart disease. But we do it anyway—for instance, I will forever associate Michael Jackson's death with the hardcore stealing of Farrah Fawcett's thunder. And anyway, in these melancholy final hours of 2012, it's sobering and weirdly fortifying to take a look at the way our culture grows and dies. Also it's totally fun to think about all of these people having a kegger in heaven.
Here's just a sampling:
January – Etta James Dies at 73
February – Whitney Houston Dead at 48
February – Monkees Singer Davy Jones Dead at 66
April – Painter Thomas Kinkade Dead At 54
April – 60 Minutes Reporter Mike Wallace Dead At 93
April – Dick Clark Dies at 82
May – Beastie Boys' Adam Yauch Dies at 47
May – Donna Summer Dies at 63
May – Robin Gibb Dies at 62
June – Author Ray Bradbury Dies at 91
June – Nora Ephron Dead at 71
July – Television Icon Andy Griffith Dead at 86
July – Oscar Winning Actor Ernest Borgnine Dead at 95
July – The Jeffersons‘ Sherman Hemsley Dead at 74
August – Oscar-Winning Composer Marvin Hamlisch Dead at 68
August – Director Tony Scott Dead at 68
August – Legendary Comedian Phyllis Diller Dead at 95
August – Neil Armstrong: First Man On The Moon Dead
September – Michael Clarke Duncan Dead at 54
November – Dallas Actor Larry Hagman Dead at 81
December – Jenni Rivera Confirmed Dead After Plane Crash
December – Norah Jones‘ Father, Sitarist Ravi Shankar, Dead at 92
December – The Odd Couple Actor Jack Klugman Dead at 90
December – Charles Durning Dead At 89
There are plenty more. Anyone you were particularly devastated to lose in 2012? Emote/commiserate in the comments. <3 [JustJared]
Paris Hilton is hella pumped about Kim Kardashian's pregnancy:
Our sources in Miami — where Paris is getting ready to celebrate NYE — tell us P was shopping when a friend walked up and broke the news about Kim and Kanye West having a baby.
We're told Paris simply smiled and said, "So happy for her, they are perfect for each other."
Paris and Kim were on the outs for years until a few months ago when they reunited and danced up a storm at a friend's party — and then met up again at a recent event in Miami.
Certainly. This all sounds super-sincere and above-board. [TMZ]
If you're looking for Anne Hathaway tonight, she's hanging out with Madonna at Valentino's party in Switzerland:
Valentino is throwing a New Year's Eve (NYE) party tonight at the members-only Eagle Ski Club.
"Rumors are flying that both Madonna and Anne Hathaway will take turns serenading the legendary designer, and they might even do a duet at midnight," said the source.
"Valentino's NYE bash is the hottest ticket in Europe, and people are flying in from all over the world for it. Valentino is reportedly spending 500,000 euros on caviar, champagne, music, food, décor and fireworks at Wasserngrat Mountain."
The theme of the party is "LOLOLOLOLLLOLOOOLOLOLOLOLOL@POORZ." [ShowbizSpy]
- Susan Boyle did karaoke at her local pub. [DigitalSpy]
- Adrienne Maloof has some tips for your "New Year's Eve style." She recommends black palazzo pants and metallic accessories. Add a felt genie vest with teal paisley appliques and she's telling you to wear my choir uniform from 1998. (Cummerbund optional.) [E!]
- Hugh Hefner and Crystal Harris are getting married, like, right now. [Reuters]
- Naomi Watts and Liev Schreiber went swimming in their swimming costumes. [JustJared]
- Chris Martin is reading Anna Karenina which is so cute that I'm ruined. [JustJared]
- Ryan Seacrest says that hosting New Year's Rockin' Eve without Dick Clark is "surreal." Frowny-face. [Us]
- E! would like you to "watch" these "fashionistas" in 2013. Srsly because Elle Fanning will steal all the change out of your car ashtray and then just throw it away. BECAUSE SHE CAN. [E!]
Ehh, that's all I've got. All the celebrities are waaaaaaaaay too busy depilating to make any news right now. So let's just call it a day/month/year and get down to what's truly important this New Year's Eve: PALANCIN' THE FUCK INTO 2013. Love you kids. Remember to drink some water tonight.