Russian Court Dismisses a Lawsuit Against Madonna, So Everybody Vogue to Celebrate

Even though Madonna doesn’t really give a fuck, a Russian court dismissed a Trade Union of Russian Citizens’ lawsuit alleging that the singer “traumatized” hordes of gyrating, screaming young people by speaking up for gay rights during a concert in St. Petersburg.

The city had made it illegal to “promote” homosexuality to minors in February, but six months later, Madonna was on stage diligently recruiting her global homsexual army. Bigoted Russians, predictably, panicked, and filed a 333 million ruble ($10.7 million) lawsuit against Madonna for exposing minors to “homosexual propaganda.” Cooler heads prevailed in the Russian legal system, and, though Madonna did not deign attend her own trial and will not so much as comment on it, waved the Trade Union’s lawsuit away, presumably with a flourish of the hand. I’m thinking that a Russian courtroom scene might be a good setting for Madonna’s next video, which will begin with Judge Madonna dismissing the lawsuit and her dancers vogueing all the Russian theocrats out of the courthouse.