Voting for Obama Was Totally Gay, and It Was Crucial to His Victory

Maybe speaking out in support of same-sex marriage was more than a moral move, after all. According to the gurus over at FiveThirtyEight, the gay vote was crucial to an Obama win this election. MAYBE IT’S BECAUSE OBAMA IS A GAY MUSLIM MUSLIN FILIPINO SPACE ALIEN FROM PLANET KENYAN BUTT PLUGS?? Or, uh, maybe it’s because Mitt Romney thinks gay parents aren’t real parents, totally bullied gay kids, and doesn’t believe in equality? We might NEVER KNOW.

Mr. Obama’s more than three-to-one edge in exit polls among the 5 percent of voters who identified as gay, lesbian or bisexual was more than enough to give him the ultimate advantage, according to the study, by Gary J. Gates of the Williams Institute at the U.C.L.A. School of Law, in conjunction with Gallup.

Or maybe this is a conspiracy from Nate Silver’s big gay army. If it is, consider the message spread, comrades.