Alpha males Robert De Niro and Jay-Z's squabbling almost ruined Leonardo DiCaprio's birthday party for everyone. De Niro let Hova have it for mentioning that he'd be willing to record a song for the Tribeca Film Festival and then failing to return any of De Niro's calls to follow through. Jay-Z tried to joke about it and Beyoncé glided over to try to keep the peace, but De Niro said that there were no excuses and although he considers Jay-Z "the man," it was "JUST RUDE." At last, DiCaprio cried in the dulcet tones of an angelic child: "I don't like it when Mommy and Daddy fight!" And everyone hugged, and that's the story of Christmas.

"[De Niro] can be quite scary when he's angry," said an insider. Thanks for that startling new information. [Page Six]

Sometimes Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie go to a pizza place in his Missouri hometown, and the wild rumpus starts. "The place shuts down for the entire night and the kids raise a ruckus. They jump on tables and even throw food at each other!" Yeah, Branj, it's all fun and games now, but in a few years you'll have six beautiful, privileged, disaffected Bret Easton Ellisy teenagers to raise. [Us Weekly]

Liz & Dick producer Larry Thompson admits that wrangling Lindsay Lohan has turned him into a walking ulcer. "Producing a movie with Lindsay is not for the faint of heart. I turned 50 shades of white actually during the production... She might be the most insured actress who ever walked on a soundstage. We tried to insure ourselves against things that could and, in fact, did happen." E!]

LiLo popped up on Late Night With Jimmy Fallon. [HuffPo]

DNA results confirm that Michael Lohan fathered a kid behind Dina Lohan's back in 1995. [TMZ]

Oh and Dina hates hates hates cocaine but do you have any? [D Listed]

Tina Simpson may use her million-dollar book deal to blackmail Joe Simpson to give her the lion's share of their divorce spoils, although she got the book deal before their split and the rumors about his sexuality. It was originally going to be about mothering Jessica and Ashlee, but might now become a marital tell-all. Keep it classy. [Gossip Cop]

This is a rather grody trailer for an hour-long video made by Lady Gaga and Terry Richardson.

And now, "Ryan Lochte In Uncomfortable Repose On Sand With Dog." (People's Sexiest Man Issue or a 1949 portrait by Magritte? You decide.) [People]

  • Chris Brown may have been banned from GQ's Man of the Year party. [Gossip Cop]
  • The Today show is in serious trouble, but Matt Lauer allegedly refuses to take a pay cut. [Radar Online]
  • Justin B33bs has been calling and texting Selena Gomez and begging for another shot. [Radar Online]
  • Billy Joel, Rihanna, Missy Elliott are a team of genetic superheroes primed join forces and save the galaxy going up against Pandora Radio in a compensation dispute. [Reuters]
  • Ben Affleck endorses Channing Tatum as People's Sexiest Man Alive: "I think he is deserving, and always has been. He's a very good guy and an extremely, extremely sexy man. I mean, what else can you say? Have you seen Magic Mike? I think that said it all." Verily. [Sky News]
  • And a delightful shot of Jonah Hill nearly licking the Chay Tates-covered issue of the tabloid. [Twitter]
  • Ke$ha has lots of international friends with benefits. [The Sun]
  • Miley Cyrus is looking at wedding gowns from Marchesa. [Entertainemtnwise]
  • One time, Daniel Craig and his then-girlfriend were poor and starving, and Daniel Craig's girlfriend shoplifted a turkey by putting it up her shirt and pretending she was pregnant. [Contact Music]
  • Although ultimately Jamie Foxx got the titular role, Will Smith has no hard feelings about Django Unchained director Quentin Tarantino. [Business Standard]
  • 30 Rock's Liz Lemon marries this month. [Yahoo News]
  • Kelly Clarkson dreams of one day having the courage to get breast implants. Aim high! [Toronto Sun]
  • Yay! Elizabeth Banks' second son Magnus was born via surrogate yesterday. [People]
  • Kristen Stewart's really on a roll with this whole see-through thing. [People]
  • Sandra Bullock and Matthew McConaughey's wife Camila Alves's kids play together! [People]
  • Rebel Wilson and Zac Efron bonded at a Lakers game and there is an adorable picture to prove it. [Us Weekly]
  • Paul McCartney gave an impromptu mini-concert in an elevator. [Page Six]
  • Madonna showed her ass onstage to raise money for Sandy relief (she also did a split in a thong, which one concertgoer said resulted in "a Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct moment"). Get it? Her vagina was showing. [Page Six]
  • Jessica Chastain, who covers Marie Claire this month, says that she has to be more overt with dudes now that she is successful and therefore scary. [NYDN]