Lindsay Lohan Facing Jail Time for Lying to Police, but Who Fucking Cares, It's ELECTION NIGHT

Oh, so Lindsay Lohan is facing a year of jail time for falsely telling police she wasn’t driving her Porsche at the time of her June car accident? Well WHAT THE FUCK ELSE IS NEW. Is Lohan ever not doing some stupid shit that warrants jail time and then making me hear about it day and night? Does she have to distract me from Wolf “Grandpa Ewok” Blitzer‘s wooly mug right now? Of all days!? I resent it. But anyway:

According to RadarOnline, the Los Angeles City Attorney will ask a judge to sentence Lindsay to “significant time in jail” for violating her probation from an earlier necklace theft case.

“Prosecutors and cops think there is more than enough evidence for the judge to find Lindsay in violation of probation and are hopeful that this time, she will face the maximum penalty for lying to cops,” a law enforcement source said.

It could mean up to one year behind bars for the star, the website reports.

LOHAN. GO AWAY. THE GROWN-UPS ARE TRYING TO DO DEMOCRACY RIGHT NOW. [News.au]

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Miley Cyrus has been granted a restraining order against the creepy dude who sneaked on to her property because he thought she was his childbride. Ugh.

The pop star has obtained a temporary restraining order against Jason Luis Rivera-the 40-year-old man who was convicted of trespassing at the singer’s home.

According to the restraining order, the former Hannah Montana star asked that Rivera also be ordered to stay away from Wendy and Catlin Green, whom Cyrus describes as family friends. The restraining order request states that Wendi and Catlin were on Cyrus’ property on Sept. 8 when “Rivera illegally entered the premises under the delusional belief that he was married to Cyrus.”

I’m totally rooting for you, Miley, but I’m kinda busy hate-watching Fox News right now. BRB. [E!]

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Harrison Ford might reprise the role of Han Solo in the upcoming Star Wars sequel:

“Harrison is open to the idea of doing the movie and he’s upbeat about it, all three of them are,” said one highly placed source, referring to Ford, Mark Hamill and Carrie Fisher, who plays Solo, Luke Skywalker and Princess Lea respectively, and in doing so, filled the boots of some of the best known and loved characters in cinematic history. However, in his famous interview with ABC, Ford lamented his character of Solo, saying, “As a character he was not so interesting to me,” and continuing to explain, “I thought he should have died in the last one to give it some bottom…George didn’t think there was any future in dead Han toys.”

Because that Indiana Jones sequel turned out so well. [ContactMusic]

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No other news. I just wanted to use both of these Han Solo gifs. [MyLoins]

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Brian Austin Green explains how he and Megan Fox got away with their secret baby con—credits Reese Witherspoon with the idea:

“We were there for two days and nobody knew,” the Wedding Band star continued, “and we heard that Reese was at her place and had had a baby. And we got out of the hospital and nobody knew, and we got home and thought, ‘This is unbelievable, ’cause we weren’t expecting to be able to get away with it.'”

“We were expecting all of the [media] to be in the hallways, in the parking structure and all that stuff,” Green recalled. “So we just figured we would go with it as long as we could. Until the news kind of broke, I forgot who it was that kinda found out first and we thought, OK, let’s put something on Facebook.”

So…basically…they just had the baby and then took it home and nobody noticed. HIDING IN PLAIN SIGHT CON!!! [E!]

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• Taylor Lautner totally kept his trap shut when grilled for details about the Robsten break-up/make-up jamboree: “To be honest, I’ve never been involved in any of those situations, so I don’t know.” [VH1]
• Keke Palmer and Chanel Iman tell their stories about voting for the first time. My heart! It’s so warm! [MTV]
• Bill and Giuliana‘s baby got baptized. [Us]
• Here’s Ellen Pompeo voting! [JustJared]
• Heidi Klum says her life is just like The Bodyguard. [Extra]
• Nicki Minaj‘s reality show is going to be about her fashion line. [ONTD]
• Naomi Campbell threw literally the most ridiculous party of all time. Whatever you do, don’t not click this link. THERE IS AN ORIGINAL OIL PAINTING OF NAOMI CAMPBELL’S BOYFRIEND DRESSED LIKE JAMES BOND AND NAOMI CAMPBELL DRESSED LIKE A RANDO BOND BABE. [DailyMail]
• Breaking news: Model looks hot in clothes. [DailyMail]
• Here’s how astronauts vote from space!!! [ABC]