Donald Trump has been harumphing about a "bordering on gigantic" Obama-related bombshell that will "possibly" change the course of the entire election, but no one's been paying him that much attention, since dude tends to harumph a lot. But while we wait for him to unveil his "October Surprise" at noon today on Twitter (of course) — which some think will be long lost divorce papers that were once drawn up by Michelle Obama, a revelation that might tug at our heartstrings a bit but will hardly upset the election — lawyer Gloria Allred, who is notorious for representing women in high-profile cases and reveling in a good scandal, is trying to unseal court documents rumored to contain "juicy information about Romney" that she apparently feels will shake American voters to their very core.

The documents concern a divorce case between Staples co-founder Tom Stemberg, Romney's close friend as well as one of his biggest supporters, and his wife Maureen. According to TMZ, Romney gave a deposition in the divorce and also testified in the trial, which lasted for years and was allegedly "extremely ugly."

So why do we care? Well, Romney and Stemberg's ties "run deep," and when you're politically influential multimillionaires, that doesn't just mean you have a collection of cute friendship bracelets. Romney's venture capital company helped launch Staples, which was one of Bain Capital's first big successes, and sat on the company's board of directors for more than a decade. According to the Huffington Post, "In claiming he helped create some 100,000 jobs in the private sector over the years, the Romney campaign has leaned heavily on the success of the office supplier, citing roughly 90,000 Staples jobs in their math."

Ah, the plot thickens. But how does their chumminess and political partnership — Stemberg even spoke on behalf of Romney at the Republican National Convention in Tampa — have anything to do with a nasty divorce? TMZ seems to think it has something to do with a 2005 Boston Globe article which reported that "Maureen received nearly 500,000 shares of Staples stock in the divorce ... but sold half her shares before the company went public."


But Radar says the shocker actually has to do with allegations about a child custody matter. A source told the website that Romney gave sworn testimony about "his observations of Tom's role as a father to his four sons" and that "Ms. Allred's client [presumably Maureen, although that hasn't been confirmed] feels that the public needs to know about Governor Mitt Romney's role in this very important case. Governor Romney is running for President of the United States and this goes to a very important character issues."

Radar reports that the Boston Globe is currently in court for an emergency hearing in, according to their source, "an attempt to obtain a court order to unseal the sworn testimony given by Mitt Romney in a prior court case and to lift a gag order so that the parties can speak about Romney. Gloria Allred will be in court representing one of the parties in the case." Donald Trump must be pissed.

Whose vaguely divorce-related past will shock Americans more: Obama's or Romney's? With two weeks to go until the election, we're just glad everyone's focusing on the important issues: Real Housewives-worthy marital drama.