University of Chicago Professor Very Disappointed that Female Neuroscientists Aren't Sexier

Here’s a thing that you should do if you’re a professor at an academic conference: listen to your colleagues’ presentations and meet new friends, possibly for future professional collaboration. Here’s a thing that you shouldn’t do if you’re a professor at an academic conference: take to Facebook and publicly bitch about how your penis is mad that your female colleagues aren’t fuckable enough. Most academics are evolved enough to understand this, but one University of Chicago professor just couldn’t resist the urge to use social media to act like an antisocial ass.

On Sunday, Professor Dario Maestripieri, in attendance at the Conference of the Society for Neuroscience in New Orleans, posted the following status update to his Facebook page,

My impression of the Conference of the Society for Neuroscience in New Orleans. There are thousands of people at the conference and an unusually high concentration of unattractive women. The super model types are completely absent. What is going on? Are unattractive women particularly attracted to neuroscience? Are beautiful women particularly uninterested in the brain? No offense to anyone..

I was going to be offended until that last magical nincompoopery-erasing sentence. Well played, Einstein!

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Professor Maestripieri is a multiple-award winning academic working at the University of Chicago, which basically means he is Nerd Royalty. And, judging by his impressive resume, which includes a Ph.D in Psychobiology, the 2000 American Psychological Association Distinguished Scientific Award for Early Career Contribution to Psychology, and several committees at the U of C, he’s well aware of how hard someone in his position has had to work in order to rise to the top of an extremely competitive and demanding field. So it’s confusing to me that he would fail to grasp the fact that women in his field had to perform similar work and exhibit similar levels of dedication that he did.

Women: also people! Just like men, but with different genitals! And women who are neurobiologists probably have literally tens of thousands of priorities in their lives that outrank “appealing to Professor Dario Maestripieri’s boner.” Or anyone’s boner, really!

Free speech in the age of the internet means that everyone, including Professor Maestripieri, has every right to make statements about their preference for hot, big tittied lady neuroscientists like the kind on all those crime shows. Just as his colleagues, students, and the general public have a right to think he sounds like kind of a jerk. Free speech doesn’t mean freedom from rebuttal.

Ironically, this neanderthal works on the Committee of Evolutionary Biology and has authored a book called Primate Psychology. Takes one to know one?