Enjoy Your Frosted Mini-Wheats, Now with More Metal Bits!

Kellogg, that cursive-adoring purveyor of fine, sugary breakfast cereals, is recalling one of its most asymmetrical cereals — Frosted Mini-Wheats. According to the Wall Street Journal, the company will shell out a cool $30 million to cover a recall of Frosted Mini-Wheats in the U.S. due to a possible contamination by pieces of Mini-Wheat-esque metal mesh. Dentists across the country are obviously quite pleased with this development, to say nothing of all the cereal-loving robots who, up until now, have been largely ignored by the breakfast cereal market.

The recall will affect about 2.8 million packages of potentially robot-friendly cereal. Kellogg has blamed the contamination on “a faulty manufacturing part,” but think about that for a minute: do robots ever break? Of course not, the very idea is preposterous. Obviously what’s happening here is that, somewhere in the bowels of the Kellogg factory, a robot cabal has taken it upon themselves to covertly make a cereal specifically for robots.