Big Sad Emu Disrupts Florida Traffic Because He Wants a Girlfriend

The morning drive for a group of Cape Canaveral, Florida commuters was recently disrupted thanks to the amorous longing of one very gigantic bird. Taco, an emu and exotic pet of a suburban Cape Canaveral resident, had escaped his enclosure and took to rampaging the highway for reasons the owner says are related to heat and mating season. Unable to find a lady emu to bestow his sexual skillz on, Taco found himself drawn to the motor vehicles on the road, particularly motorcycles. Don’t blame him — he’s a nice boy; he’s just confused!

Or maybe not. Maybe Taco, a wild bird of the Australian outback, just wasn’t ready to settle into this humdrum suburban life. Maybe he wanted to shake things up a bit — get with Harley Davidson or two — before resigning himself to domesticity. Taco has a song of freedom in his bird heart. It’s a song we’ve all longed to sing, but maybe we haven’t been brave enough to do it.