All Your Food Is Poisoned. Throw Away All Your Food.

First they came for our peanut butter…

A New Mexico-based company is recalling 76 types of peanut butter and almond butter after one of its products was linked to a salmonella outbreak at Trader Joe’s groceries.

Sunland Inc. recalled the products under multiple brand names after the Food and Drug Administration and the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention linked 29 salmonella illnesses in 18 states to Trader Joe’s Creamy Salted Valencia Peanut Butter.

AND THEN THEY CAME FOR OUR BEEFS.

The beef recall concerning contaminated beef produced from Edmonton-based XL Foods has spread again with the CFIA issuing an alert for 60 more products.

The recalled products range from hamburger patties, to bratwurst, meatballs, pepperoni, and jerky.

Well, FINE. Guess I’ll have to cancel my annual Columbus Day Peanut Butter and Beef Family Sandwich Feed.