Cat Brought in for Flea Bath Accidentally Gets Euthanized

Taking your beloved domestic animal to the vet can be stressful, especially if your vet insists on attaching your surname to your dog’s first name, or asks if you’ve considered having your cat put on a special diet of graham cracker bits baked by a California couple named Ned and Nadine. Maybe you begrudge the vet for making you feel less than conscientious about your pet’s health for not flossing your pet’s teeth. Fine. At least your vet cares enough not to haul off and murder your pet if you bring it in for a routine procedure.

This is what happened to one very unlucky Kansas woman named Colleen Conlon, who scheduled her beloved cat Lady and the not-quite-as-beloved-but-still-cool Little Bit for a flea bath with Dr. Muhammad Malik. Conlon’s son dropped Lady off at Malik’s office first and, after filling out some papers that seemed to ask for the standard pet information, went back for Little Bit, which was lucky for Little Bit because, unbeknownst to Conlon or her son, “flea bath” (which most vets describe as an archaic practice anyway) was apparently code for “euthanization.” When Conlon’s son offered to take Lady home if she’d finished with her bath, the vet looked at him in surprise and said, “You want the bodies?”

Conlon’s son was understandably horrified and took Little Bit home. Conlon was dismayed and, though she doesn’t think Lady’s death was intentional, she does think it was negligent and has filed a complaint with the attorney general’s office. According to state records, Dr. Malik was placed on probation in 2005 as a result of not complying with treatment standards for the care he provided a dog in 2002. His veterinary license, though it’s certainly no comfort to Lady, who’s probably drinking whipping cream from a golden saucer in the heaven I don’t believe in, expires in February of 2013. Conlon’s words of wisdom: read all the paperwork you sign at the vet’s office, no matter how boring or pointless it seems.

Meanwhile, Little Bit is busy spreading what will almost definitely become the most terrifying feline urban legend of all time.