Ann Romney Will Inevitably Annoy Voters, Says Mitt Romney

Ann Romney’s frequently been utilized as a surrogate for her husband in his Presidential campaign, and it’s no wonder. She’s sweet, friendly, warm, and, most importantly SHE LOOOVES YOUUU WOMEN! But this week, Mittens himself admitted that there is such thing as Too Much Ann Romney, and that if the campaign isn’t careful, America could get sick of her.

In yet another bit of surreptitiously captured audio that makes the GOP Presidential nominee sound like a complete prick, Romney can be heard to hear “We use Ann sparingly right now, so that people don’t get tired of her.”

First of all, if what we’re seeing now is restraint in the use of Ann, I’d hate to see what would happen if Romney wasn’t concerned that we’d all get tired of her. Would all of the campaign’s commercials just feature Ann Romney talking about love in very short sentences? Would the Romney bus be a giant Ann-shaped vehicle? Would Ann just run for President herself? Can I buy Ann Romney action figures with realistic hugging and reassuring hand-patting action? WILL I BE ABLE TO BUY A BIRD SHIRT ACCESSORY FOR MY ANN DOLL?

Secondly, I know picking words that don’t sound terrible isn’t Mitt Romney’s strong suit, but the word “use” in the context of his wife who is battling Multiple Sclerosis is pretty clumsy.

But Romney does have a point about people getting sick of his wife’s endless pandering, and it seems that the gig’s up among certain parts of the population. Remember that interview she did where she refused to say anything about any policy positions and just kept saying “Women care about jobs and the economy” without mentioning how, exactly, Romney would benefit those women and their jobs?

The media, ever willing to gleefully club a dead horse with microphones, wingtips, and those fedoras with cards sticking out of them that say PRESS, has responded to the possibility that Ann Romney is horse-jumping the shark by trying to get her to guest host Good Morning America at some point in October. Get ready for lots of nervous giggling.