Lulli Akin Stupidly Compares GOP’s Abandonment of Her Husband to Revolutionary War Rape

Apparently not having learned the lesson her husband, Jon Kyl, and, oh, just about every other asshole in the GOP learned, Lulli Akin, of the “legitimate rape” Akins, suggested that Todd Akin’s abandonment by fellow Republicans is, more or less, just like rape.

If you’re still reading, I assume it’s because a concerned roommate or workplace colleague had smelling-salts on hand to rouse you back to consciousness after you knocked yourself out with an over-vigorous forehead slap. Speaking to the The National Journal, Akin fumed about the “tyrannical” nature of Republican Party management (because this is how we win elections!), and then decided that the best way to explain how frustrated she is with what happened to ol’ teddy-bear Todd was to allude Revolutionary-era America and, naturally, rape:

Party bosses dictating who is allowed to advance through the party and make all the decisions – it’s just like 1776 in that way. [That was when colonists] rose up and said, ‘Not in my home, you don’t come and rape my daughters and my … wife. But that is where we are again.

Boo, Lulli Akin — this is a bad comparison. Republicans distancing themselves from Todd Akin is not at all like what happened in 1776, unless of course you’re referring to how, one by one, members of my fifth-grade class quietly left an afternoon viewing of the movie-musical 1776 after a kindly but superannuated Mrs. Hawkins, long afflicted with sleep-apnea, took a very audible siesta at her desk. Then again, I find it very difficult to believe that you, Lulli Akin, know anything about my fifth-grade class.

To his (slight) credit, Todd Akin — who, according to the WaPo, likes to dress up as a Continental soldier and go a-trampling over abortion rights — dialed back his wife’s Revolutionary War reference, saying that it was, mayhap, “a little more grandiose” than the way he might have described his fraught campaign. Then he went ahead and erased that credit by saying that there is “this tremendous sense of uprising I feel among the people I talk to.” The only real “sense of uprising” is among people who think that people like Todd Akin should really gtfo of politics before they do any further damage to women’s health programs.