Dina Lohan taped a soon-to-be-infamous interview with Dr. Phil (set to air Sept. 17) in which she fidgets and slumps and giggles all over the place like a sun-dried tomato on Adderall. You have to hand it to the lady—it's not easy to make Dr. Phil look like the most sane and reasonable clump of atoms in the room (fun fact: Lohan actually came in fifth, behind Dr. Phil, a water bottle, a Duraflame log, and a fake plant in a bucket).
"Look at you, you're in your little tie and little shoes," Dina says to Dr. Phil, while slumping over the sofa and slurring her words.
..."I'm not flitting around, I'm being scrutinized by you people," Dina says.
"You people?" Dr. Phil snaps back.
Not to be outdone:
Lohan patriarch Michael Lohan also makes an appearance on the show via satellite in which he's quick to ask, "Was [Dina] drinking before she did your interview?"
Can someone pull a real-life parent trap on those two? Please? (I know just the gal!) They are obviously meant to be together for all of time. [Radar]
Billy Campbell—a.k.a. The Rocketeer—is a real-talk fucking maritime hero:
Billy was sailing his brand new schooner from Nova Scotia to Rhode Island when he noticed an overturned vessel floating in Buzzard's Bay, MA on Monday around 7:30 PM.
As Campbell sailed closer to the boat, he saw 3 men hanging on for dear life ... and immediately ordered his crew to pluck the men out of the water and bring them aboard.
The rescue was nothing short of miraculous — because the capsized boat had no emergency lights ... and the men had no way to signal for help.
Oops, my underpants and my relationship fell off. Weird. [TMZ]
Chad Ochocinco finally filed divorce papers from Evelyn Lozada, then missed his court date because hey, MISTRESSES DON'T BANG THEMSELVES:
The car belongs to Bianca Zuluaga, the woman Radar exclusively reported to be Johnson's mistress, and is registered in Zuluaga's mother's name.
...Zuluaga, who refers to Johnson as "Chocolate" confirmed this on her own twitter page, first tweeting "You know you're a chocolate addict when you ate some last night, and eat some as soon as you wake up in the morning."
Then later, tweeting "iHop with my lover… yummm fattening."
Blake Lively, being 11 years old, had no idea that Ben Affleck and Matt Damon are BFFs 4 lyfe:
On touring around Boston with Blake Lively: "When I was doing The Town, I'd tour the actors around Boston. I was with Blake, and I saw Matt [Damon]'s childhood home. And I said, "Oh yeah, that's where Matt grew up." And she said, "Who?" And I said, "Matt Damon." And she said, "Oh my God! You know Jason Bourne?!" She really didn't know. And I thought, "There it is. The first age of people who are adults who missed the whole Matt and Ben propaganda campaign!" Mostly, it just made me feel old."
That's probably my favorite thing I've read all week. [JustJared]
- A judge has officially ordered Amanda Bynes not to drive a goddamn car anymore. Girl, enough. This ISN'T THAT HARD. You are literally a christinamilianaire. Just get a driver like a normal entitled maniac. [People]
- Wes Bentley has been BANNED from Canada, following pressure from the powerful anti-novelty-sideburns lobby. [VH1]
- Ugh. Lindsay Lohan AND Charlie Sheen. In the same place. Right now. [Celebuzz]
- Vince Neil sez: "The Show Must Go On ... Even With My Broken Foot!" Then there is a picture of the foot. THE FOOT OF NEIL SHALT NEVER BE TORN ASUNDER. [TMZ]
- Diane Kruger, Emma Stone, and Amy Adams adorably kicked it at the Calvin Klein show. [JustJared]
- An aspiring rapper named Inkyy tweeted "Drunk af going 120 drifting corners #FuckIt YOLO" minutes before crashing into a wall and dying. [HuffPo]
- RerchelErchiterlPerstBerBerBerkernerBerder. [Radar]
- Hey bro, is it cool if Nicki Minaj comes to smoke weed and eat Chinese food at your house? [TMZ]
- Eva Longoria says she won't work with people she hates, because, "Life's so short. You should be surrounded by people who make each other better people." Longoria also says she loves being "George Lopez's sidekick." Yes. A girl can dream. [ShowbizSpy]
- The dude who catered Tom Cruise's wedding 22 years ago says he never got paid. [HuffPo]
- Sally Struthers whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. [E!]