Sarah Palin Would Like President Obama to Grow a Big Stick

Whoever Sarah Palin has hired to ghostwrite her public policy digest updates to her Facebook page sure issued a third degree burn to President Obama’s penis last night, urging the Commander in Chief to “grow one.” Yes, Sarah Palin made a dick joke at the expense of the President.

Since 2008, when Palin tried to make “Drill Baby Drill” chants happen during her public appearances, Palin’s career has basically been built with proudly ignorant hubris and held together by the mortar of conservative penis panic. A real man would drill into the earth, like the drill was his penis! A real man would go off and fight wars rather than talk to international foes, as though his penis were leading the way! And, you know, the whole gun thing. Don’t pretend that’s not at least sort of about dicks.

Last night, Palin had more to say about America’s phallus (or lack thereof) — A real man would be more like Teddy Roosevelt. Per the former mayor/Vice Presidential nominee/Governor/relevant Palin,

We already know that President Obama likes to “speak softly” to our enemies. If he doesn’t have a “big stick” to carry, maybe it’s time for him to grow one.

Icky racial implications of the “grow a penis” joke aside, entering into a battle of words over President Obama’s manhood is probably a bad idea. The President, after all, is friends with a lot of very gifted rappers, and many, many smart non-rappers. This will only end with someone else dropping the mic, and possibly tears.