Sandra Fluke Says If We Like Covered Wagons and No Electricity, We Should Vote for Romney

On Wednesday, Georgetown grad Sandra Fluke introduced President Barack Obama at a campaign rally in Denver focused on women’s reproductive rights. Fluke, who unfortunately has the ignominious media epithet “the woman Rush Limbaugh called a ‘slut,'” told her audience that, if they wanted to go backwards in time to when novacane wasn’t a thing yet and surgeons were judged by how many limbs they could saw off in a minute, they should go ahead and vote for Mittens come November.

She accused Romney of wanting to wind back the clock on women’s health issues, or at least not being strong enough to stand up to those who would actively legislate against women’s reproductive freedom:

[Obama] defended my right to speak without being attacked,” Fluke said. “Mr. Romney could only say those weren’t the words he would have chosen. Well, Mr. Romney, you’re not going to be the candidate we choose.

Fluke added that a Romney presidency would unravel “the rights that generations of women have fought for,” and that the only campaign promises he’d made to women so far were “dangerous promises to take us backward.” All this talk about time travel is starting to make me think that Mittens has a DeLorean sitting in a garage in the Caymans, and that, if elected, he’ll start taking us on field trips back to the Jurassic period, which sounds cool but who knows what havoc even the slightest misstep could wreak on our present? No, a Mittens presidency would definitely constitute a severe threat to the delicate time-space continuum.