Kim Klardashiurn is honored to be boyfriend Kanye West’s “perfect bitch,” which is the title of a new song he wrote about her, Tweeted about having written about her, and promptly deleted.
Said she, “I love [the song.] I know he doesn’t mean it in a negative way when he says the word ‘bitch.'” Which all comes as a massive surprise from the guy who depicted himself fucking an armless naked demon woman on an album cover and a woman who likes publicity enough to date a person that the president of our country, personally, called a jackass. But also women are allowed to like being called a bitch by their boyfriends, or they’re not, or they only are sometimes, idk idk idk, RIGHT, LADIES? AM I RIGHT? AM I RIGHT? AM I—[derps wildly.]
I confess that “Runaway” always makes me cry, but you guys might have figured out by now that I cry all the time, about everything. [The Daily Beast]
After their super-alliterative sleepover with Lana Del Rey at the Chateau Marmont last month, Lady Gaga and Lindsay Lohan have become “biffles” via a slumber party bonding process of smearing each other with glitter and Nutella and sounding barbaric yawps at the night sky while Lana swayed despondently in the background. Now Lohan might star in a music video for one of Gaga’s new singles to be featured on her upcoming album, ARTPOP, and many people are considering it an error in Gaga’s judgment. [Zee News]
Also, Gaga might be engaged because she hung out in a Vera Wang store, which seems like a weirdly conventional choice for her. [Starpulse]
Also-also, this is LiLo in a white slip of nothing/ghost one-piece swimsuit. [NYDN]
Um, ummmmm, this is Lena Dunham, Jon Hamm and Alex Karpovsky introducing the New Yorker’s iPhone app in an avant garde and unscripted way that is Vëry Interesting© but also in boringly perfect accordance with the world of Dunhamia.
Meta Golding, Criminal Minds star, is the latest addition to the Hunger Games cast, about whom I know basically nothing except she has a cool Neil Stephenson-sounding name and I like her necklace. She’ll be playing Enobaria. Can I borrow that necklace? [USA Today]
Robert Pattinson will appear on The Daily Show to promote his new movie Cosmopolis, obviously the single thing in Robert Pattinson’s life right now that everyone in America cares deeply and obsessively about. [NYDN]
- This .gif recreation of a moment between Emma Stone, Andrew Garfield and sexism is the best thing I’ve seen in awhile. [Upworthy]
- Oh my God, oh my God, Arrested Development is shooting and Jason Bateman Tweeted a picture of Ron Howard’s script, which I want to eat and automatically become brilliant. [THR]
- With a poof and a quiet sob, Kourtney Kardashian’s new kid has been revealed. [Us Magazine]
- And haha, fucking never mind, Rob Kardashian didn’t even apply to USC Law. [THR]
- Pink turned down a judging stint on Australia’s The Voice. [Herald Sun]
- Madonna appealed on behalf of Pussy Riot at her concert in Russia. [Reuters]
- M.I.A. said her new songs will sound like “Paul Simon on acid.” Otay. [STV.tv]
- Yee! Joss Whedon is writing an Avengers sequel. [Entertainment Weekly]
- This is the first shot of Daniel Day Lewis as Abraham Lincoln in Steven Spielberg’s Lincoln. [E! Online]
- Country singer Randy Travis got arrested for a possible DUI. [TMZ]
- This would be the new True Blood teaser. [TV Fanatic]
- Stacey Dash was in the hospital for dehydration. [Bossip]
- Hey! Hey! Katy Perry pees in buckets before she goes onstage. [Gather Celebs]
- Umm, Jesus, here are some awful pictures of Macaulay Culkin looking like he’s about to puke outside the Chateau Marmont. [Daily Mail]
- Paris Jackson wants to get a tattoo of MJ’s birthday. [Radar Online]
- Jennifer Lopez got blackmailed by her driver. [CNN]
- Justin Timberlake’s got no plans for a new album because FUUUU. [CNN]
- Bryan Cranston got pinkeye from dirty water he had to fight with Colin Farrell in. For Total Recall. Not, like, in life. [Express]
- Brad Pitt spent $390,000 on a watch for Angelina Jolie. [timeslive.co.za]
- Nicole Kidman sold her New York City home and now has another $16 million dollars . [Daily Mail]
- Pretty Little Liars star Lucy Hale confessed that she had an eating disorder. [People]
- Gillian Anderson split from her husband. [People]
- Ben Affleck wants a fourth kid but Jennifer Garner is like “Aaahhh, shut up though.”[Us Weekly]
- Jeremy Renner said he’s lonely. [Monsters and Critics]
- Real Housewife of New York Countess Luann de Lesseps can’t have any more kids, said her mom. [HuffPo]