Astrologers Explain: Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson Were Never Really Compatible Anyway

Vampires may be immortal, but in Hollywood, forever is not long at all. And, according to their zodiac signs, long-term true love was never going to happen for Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson. As of right now, she’s apologized for her indiscretion, but Rob’s moved out. We ask the cosmos: Will K-Stew and R-Patz survive an infidelity?

Our sources say no, and the stars back it up. Sad as we are to see the Twilight saga end — in real life and theaters — the stars predict a slim-to-zero chance of reconciliation. Here’s are four reasons why.

1. Fire + Earth Signs = A Tricky Combo?

Bad as we feel for poor Pattinson, there may have be some cosmic mismatching here from the start. Taurus men and Aries women can have incredible chemistry, but are also wired differently (despite their similar Ram/Bull stubbornness).

Aries is a restless fire sign, while Taurus is a steady earth sign. Earth signs like Taurus are planners, while fiery Aries is impulsive, easily swayed by passion and attraction.

Pattinson was a grounding, stable force in Stewart’s life, but perhaps a little TOO much so. While the Taurus man is quick to start construction on his picket-fence fantasy, the Aries woman who “settles down” young is often likely to marry multiple times. Lady Aries is an adventurer who needs to sow her oats before she commits for the long haul. The Taurus man, old-fashioned at heart, has no tolerance for that.

Yes, the Aries woman-Taurus man match CAN work…and does for couples like Victoria and David Beckham, and Ashley Judd and Dario Franchitti. However, they’re all a bit older than Stewart — and age does make a difference.

So if you’re a fire sign (Aries, Leo, Sagittarius) interested in a Taurus, you’ll need to tame your wild ways…or rather, reserve them all for your Bull’s pleasure. Don’t go roaming in the pasture checking out the other cattle and steers!

2. Taurus Men Don’t Forget…and They’re Not So Big on Forgiving, Either.

What infuriates people about Taurus men — their stubbornness, their ability to reduce everything to its simplest state — is actually what makes them such loyal partners. To the Taurus man, it’s simple: you’re either in or you’re out. There’s no grey area in the commitment zone. If they love you, they’re with you. If they don’t, they leave. Maybe it doesn’t work that way for the other 11 zodiac signs, but for Taurus, that’s how things operate. (This may be why Taurus George Clooney is the world’s most monogamous bachelor.)

“There is one thing I’ve never understood: Why people cheat,” Pattinson recently told Italian Vogue. “My parents met when my mom was 17 and my father 25, they are still together, and seem very happy. I grew up believing that you can be together all of your life.”

Nor do we expect Pattinson to try and understand, or to offer Stewart another (Bella) swan song. Public humiliation is not something Taurus takes well. He’ll pack his shit and move on, taking their dog and his broken heart with him. Rumor has it he’s already staying with his Water for Elephants co-star Reese Witherspoon-who, interestingly, happens to be an Aries like Kristen Stewart, one who knows the perils of marrying too young.

In the extremely rare event that they reconcile, Pattinson may never trust Stewart. Which, when weighed and measured by his rational Taurus mind, probably won’t make sense. Says Ophira’s Taurus husband Jeffrey,”When you get bitten by a dog once, you never trust that dog again. That’s the Taurus code.”

While we don’t expect Pattison to rush back into the dating scene, with Jupiter in his second house of self-worth until June 2013 (and serious Saturn moving into his relationship house this fall), he could be happily ensconced in a new relationship by the holidays. There certainly won’t be a shortage of takers.

3. Tough Saturn is In K-Stew’s Relationship House

The aftermath could be a tough landing for Kristen, who could end up losing both men in the end. Why? Aries are coming to the tail end of Saturn’s visit to Libra, their relationship house. Maturity planet Saturn rules tough lessons. It’s also associated with older people. Her attraction to a man almost 20 years her senior (Rupert Sanders is 41; she’s 22) falls in line with this transit.

In true impulsive Aries style, Stewart issued a public apology to Pattinson: “I’m deeply sorry for the hurt and embarrassment I’ve caused to those close to me and everyone this has affected. This momentary indiscretion has jeopardized the most important thing in my life, the person I love and respect the most, Rob. I love him, I love him, I’m so sorry.”

While we have to give her some props for her honesty (hey, we’re Sagittarians and we value that), most PR pros and media experts are critical of her move, even calling it “career suicide.”

While we doubt that, it was certainly the kind of headstrong, leap-before-looking Aries move that probably got Stewart into this mess in the first place. And with Saturnine lessons, hindsight is often 20/20.

4. Pisces Men Can Be Sleaze-mongers (There, We Said It).

Forgive us, o’ Fishboys who swim in the clear waters of integrity. There are some among the Piscean school who prefer the murky depths, who love to dart in and out of the coral reefs and cast deceitful shadows. See, we even made cheating sound poetic and fateful, something the mystical-but-tortured Pisces man can do.

Pisces is ruled by Neptune, the planet of fantasy, illusion and escape. Hopeless romantics to the core, Pisces men have a strong pull toward secrecy and “forbidden fruit,” which can manifest as addictions, cheating or codependence if they’re not careful. Anyone who’s been with a Pisces man has probably been treated to at least one disappearing act…even if he just emotionally checks out. It’s a tricky sign, one that can take you to both the most heavenly highs and the most depraved lows.

Sanders’ estranged wife Liberty Ross even hinted at her marital loneliness in a recent interview, saying, “I would never say out loud that I am raising my children alone, but a lot of the time it has felt like that.” Indeed, as a husband, the Pisces man often feels like a fish trapped on the line. Even the best “bait” loses its luster when he’s stuck on someone else’s hook. Difficult indeed.

Interestingly, both Sanders and Pattinson are one sign away from Kristen’s on the zodiac wheel, which can be a tricky match. When two people are one sign apart, they’re often teachers for each other on a karmic level. By nature, their signs have little in common, yet they can complement each other in a dynamic way. However, they’ll need to navigate some fundamental differences and compromise often.

Alas, in this cosmic and fateful love triangle, the lessons aren’t happy ones. Looks like Bella Swan fell for the wolf (in civilian clothing) after all.