The President Has Officially Endorsed His Favorite Girl Scout Cookie

Everybody needs to immediately stop everything that they’re doing and listen to this important bulletin: the President of North America’s Enormous Mosaic Belt Buckle Barack Obama has finally endorsed a Girl Scout cookie as the official cookie of his administration. Okay, maybe it’s not the official cookie, but it’s definitely his favsie.

The Washington Post heavyhitters report that, earlier today at a campaign event in Cincinnati, President Obama blurted out that his favorite type of Girl Scout cookie was the best-selling Thin Mint, probably because he can put his Thin Mints in the freezer, mash them up, and stir them into some Breyer’s French vanilla ice cream. Or whatever. Some people in the crowd agreed with the president, chanting, “Thin Mints!” like the cookie zombies they are, but some other fine citizens dissented because they know that the cookie sometimes known as Samoa is clearly the most delicious thing ever. “I don’t mean to create controversy,” President Obama said when the first boos started trickling down to him. He added, “Peanut butter is quite good too. But I’m going with the mint.” According to the Girl Scouts’ official tabulations, 25 percent of Americans prefer Thin Mints. Caramel deLites/Samoas/that delicious coconut inner-tube that can ride a river of whole milk straight into your tummy, come in second place with 19 percent of ardent supporters. Clearly, then, the Thin Mint announcement was a calculated political move.