Anthony Weiner Could Be Gearing Up for Mayoral Run Just as Soon as People Forget About His Dick Pics

Anthony Weiner may be poised for a political comeback, at least according to some of the shadowy sources the New York Post tapped for its report. The former congressman has what the Post describes as a “$4.5 million political war chest,” along with a little extra motivation to get back in the game as soon as possible — the public match on his campaign funds is set to expire in 2013.

Though Weiner reportedly has mayoral ambitions, hooded sources speaking from behind veils of steam in the back-alleys of Brooklyn say that a bid for public advocate — largely seen as a “cleansing” stepping stone on which Weiner can prove that he isn’t going to send boner pics to his staffers — is more likely. “The general feeling,” says a source (maybe Anthony Weiner’s cat? does he have a cat?), “is that you can’t text pictures of your penis to a girl, then lie about it, then get kicked out of the House and then run for mayor right after.” That sort of behavior’s fine for a public advocate and all, but the Mayor of New York City ought to be held to a higher standard. If the Mayor doesn’t occupy the moral high ground all the time, how will he or she enforce the city’s myriad Big Gulp and smoking restrictions? Don’t even try to answer that question because it will literally make your head explode.