Melting Pile of Sadness Goo Courtney Love Allegedly Asked Her Assistant to Hire a 'Hacker'

Courtney Love‘s former assistant, Jessica LaBrie, is suing the singer for unspecified damages, “claiming Courtney intentionally withheld her salary because Jessica refused to ‘commit fraudulent, unlawful, and unethical acts.'” Apparently Love wanted LaBrie to “hire a hacker” and forge some unspecified legal documents. Now, obviously I don’t know any of the details of this case, but I think we can all agree that Courtney Love is an elegant lady with excellent taste and judgment. Also, LaBrie is “currently shopping a tell-all book about Courtney, tentatively entitled Get Me a Xanax.” So…uh…congrats all around? [TMZ]

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Lionsgate has confirmed that Mockingjay (the final installment in the Hunger Games trilogy) will be split into two separate movies: “The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1 will be released on Nov. 21, 2014 and The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2 is set for release on Nov. 20, 2015. The Hunger Games will now become an annual event each November as the second film, Catching Fire, was previously confirmed to be released on Nov. 22, 2013.” [Us]

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Scientologists don’t just think that Tom Cruise is “a complete god” (which could have been, you know, figurative)—apparently they also believe that he “has telekinetic, telepathic powers.” UM, KAY, YOU GUYS. “Operative Thetans, Reitman says, have ‘have total “control” over themselves and their environment. OTs can allegedly move inanimate objects with their minds, leave their bodies at will and telepathically communicate with, and control the behavior of, both animals and human beings.'” [ONTD]

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Twitter continues to lose its shit over what a garbage-flavored dick Daniel Tosh is. And to the rape-joke apologists, and people who are more upset about heckling than threats of sexual violence: I got you this gif! Christmas in July! [BoingBoing]

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• Bryan Cranston is “open to the idea” of a Breaking Bad movie. [HuffPo]
• Joshua Jackson says “never say never” to a Dawson’s Creek reunion. [HuffPo]
• Lindy West says never say never to being open to the idea of a Breaking Bad/Dawson’s Creek crossover situation a la when the Jetsons met the Flintstones. [Jezebel]
• Hilary Duff went shopping post-baby and she looks fucking gorgeous. [ONTD]
• A skeptical jurdge ordered Chris Brown‘s community service to be audited, “due to a lack of clarification in Brown’s service records on how many hours the R&B artist performed and where the work has been done.” FYI, Chris, sitting in a toilet being a piece of shit does not count as community service! (Although it does remove you from the dating pool, so kudos on that, I guess.) [MTV]
• Demi Lovato kicked some contestants off X Factor for rapping about smoking bath salts. In other news, OOOOH, let’s all talk about bath salts some more!!! [TMZ]
• Sofia Vergara might be engaged, or she might now. So far all we know is that she is wearing a “shiny ring.” [People]
• “No, no, no, no, no,” said Seth Meyers, about whether or not he’ll be replacing Regis Philbin. [E!]
• Vicki Gunvalson promises “surprises” at the Real Housewives reunion! (I hope the “surprise” is that she’s “coincidentally” bleeding out of her asshole again on the day of the taping—awfully CONVENIENT!!!) [Radar]
• Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez “flaunt their love” in Japan, whatever that means. Please punch me in the tooth if anyone ever describes my relationship like this: “[He] had a big smile on his face and put his arm around [her] for the photo op.”
  [Us]
• Joshua Jackson wants to bone a powdered wig. [People]