Global warming is probably going to mess up any number of really important things on the planet, but it appears one of its most delicious casualties so far is maple syrup. This year's record warmth in March cut short the six-week-long sap gathering season in the northeast, where most of the country's maple syrup is produced. As a result, syrup output is down as much as 40 percent, and a lot of what was produced tastes gross. The bad-tasting syrup can be sold to use in things like chewing tobacco or salad dressing, but it won't cut it for America's waffles and other breakfast delights. According to Alred Carrier, a sugarmaker in Vermont,
You take 80 degrees in March by golly it don't help nothing. We had quite a lot of off-flavored syrup. I don't think you'd want to put it on a pancake.
By golly, we would not. Denise Marshall, a syrup distributor also from Vermont said the trees produced "yucky" syrup this year, and she summed the season up by saying, "It was kind of a disaster." Disaster is right. Damn you, global warming. You might have won this round, but I swear to God if you come for our bacon, you're going to find yourself in a world of hurt.