Snooki may have churned out some real gems in her newest novel, but BabyJane has out-Snookied Snooki at her own game:

Chapter One

It was the freakin' best of times, it was the like worst of times EVER, it was the age of JWoww, it was the age of The Situation, it was the epoch of pickles, it was the epoch of having to work at the Shore Store, it was the season of gorilla juice heads, it was the season of breaking a nail in a bar fight, it was the spring of tanning beds, it was the winter of fading, we had shots before us, we had hangovers before us, we were all going direct to Karma, we were all going direct the other way to Jenks - in short, the period was so crazy, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on arresting us, for being drunk on the beach, in the super-hot days of The Jersey Shore.

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