The Amanda Bynes driving mishap could become a bi-weekly event at this rate. At about 10:30 last night, the actress was spotted in West Hollywood holding up traffic in the middle of Robertson Boulevard as she made an excruciatingly slow 3-point turn into the driveway at SUR restaurant. An eyewitness, who probably used to tattle on everyone in kindergarten, told People, "It was taking forever and she finally made it into the driveway. She looked wobbly – I guess it could have been the heels since she was wearing sky-high nude pumps, but she did seem out of it."

The witness also mentioned that Bynes forgot to pay the $8 valet charge and, on a totally irrelevant note, was looking awfully thin. Poor Amanda! After committing a very large traffic violation when she drunkenly plowed into a cop car, followed Saturday by a very minor one when she was caught texting while driving, the former Nickelodeon sketch comédienne ought to consider maybe not driving for a while and see how that goes. If she makes any more infuriatingly slow turns like this — especially in the Los Angeles area — someone who's tired, late for work, and slightly unhinged is going to freak out and confront her, because road rage is real, people, and Amanda Bynes is cruising for, if not a real confrontation, than a lot of really vulgar hand gestures. [People]

Nicki Minaj has twit her final tweet: "Like seriously, its but so much a person can take. Good f—king bye." What could have precipitated such a dramatic break from the popular social media platform? The 29-year-old rapper had been tweet-arguing with fans following a disagreement with her fan site, which had been leaking tracks from her new album, Pink Friday. Copyright infringement is serious business, and under no circumstances does Nicki Minaj condone stealing from an artist, whether that be stealing lyrics, image, or the color pink. Pink is for everyone. [Us]

Were you maybe worried that now, with accusations flying around that she got into a fight in a nightclub, the one place she is most definitely never ever allowed to visit, Lindsay Lohan wouldn't be starring in the Elizabeth Taylor Lifetime movie? Fear not, ardent cinephiles! Lohan's rep Steve Hoing has assured the public that the film's producers aren't even a teensie bit worried, that filming will proceed as scheduled, and that "there are absolutely no problems." Here's hoping. [TMZ]

Bobby Brown's attorney entered a plea of "not guilty" on behalf of the singer/deadbeat husband following his March 26 DUI arrest. A hearing has been set for May 16 and Brown's attorney is trying to battle an order set by Commissioner Rebecca Owen that Brown not drink in the interim. That's almost a full month! How we can expect Bobby Brown to quit the sauce for a month, especially with the stress of a looming trial? [E!]

Alec Baldwin has clarified last week's tweets in which he intimated that he'd be leaving NBC just in the nick of time. Even though the Today crew camping outside of his apartment like lovelorn John Cusacks didn't make him feel much better about the network, Baldwin insists he's still a peacock fan and that he'll finish his term with 30 Rock, which will end after next season anyway. He thinks that NBC has the best programming legacy, but that the network has to get its ratings shit together. Especially Today, which Baldwin doesn't care for. [Page Six]

Oprah is returning to the big screen with the lead role in Lee Daniels' The Butler. Excited? Filming starts this summer in New Orleans, just in time for everyone in the cast to risk heat stroke. [World of Wonder]

  • So in case anyone was really broken up over the announcement of Marilyn Manson's nuptials, rest easy — not only isn't he marrying Seraphim Ward, he doesn't even know her. [E!]
  • Not to SPOIL anything for you, but none other than Lost co-creator Damon Lindelof has heeded the call to write some Mad Men fan fiction based on Ken Cosgrove's apparently prolific secret writing career as sci-fi/fantasy scribble Ben Hargrove. [Vulture]
  • Danica McKellar — who some of you may better know as Winnie Cooper from The Wonder Years — is 36 years old and would like to atone for making you feel so old by hawking you a Toyota Prius C via YouTube. I love you, Winnie Cooper — I'll buy whatever vehicle you tell me to. [Adrants]
  • Kathy Griffin has bravely come forward to tell the sad story of how she too was physically bullied as a child. She got even, though, and used her razor wit to implant some serious insecurities in the minds of her childhood tormentors, insecurities that have most likely ruined their adult lives. [HuffPo]
  • Gary Oldman — who I recently learned is rumored to be a closet Republican — will direct Jack White's live-streamed concert on April 27 at Webster Hall in Manhattan. How did Oldman, one of the most prolific actors of the last twenty years, land such a seemingly out-of-character gig? "It just fell from the sky," he told the New York Times. Let that be a lesson to all aspiring filmmakers — success is where preparation and meteorology meet. [NY Times]
  • Even though Nicki Minaj has left a glittering void in the Twitterverse, Demi Moore has returned to restore balance to the social media platform. She has yet to change her @MrsKutcher handle, though, which is hopefully just an oversight and not some passive overture to Ashton Kutcher. I hear he's dating someone new. [E!]
  • Heidi Klum poses nude in Allure's May issue because she wants to show the world that she hasn't had any cosmetic surgery. Klum explained, "I'm proud to be able to say, in this day and age, I haven't done anything. Everyone has a view of what's not pretty and [plastic surgery] just doesn't look pretty to me." No word on Klum's feelings about photoshop. [People]
  • Madonna has promised fans that her MDNA tour will be "a feast for the eyes." No, literally — a burly crew of chefs will force spoonfuls of pudding into the eyes of every single attendee. Goggles are an extra $50. [MTV]
  • NCIS star Pauly Perrette's husband — whose nickname is "Coyote" — has been charged with a restraining order violation. Life imitates art? If convicted, Francis "Coyote" Shivers (for real) could face 18 months in jail. [E!]
  • A federal appeals court has upheld the conviction of a man and a woman from the Upper Peninsula in Michigan who were accused of trying to blackmail actor John Stamos and his beautiful Greek face. [HuffPo]
  • Kanye West has tired of the song title "Theraflu." From henceforth, the song that was formerly known as "Theraflu" will be called "Way Too Cold," and all listeners must bring Kanye a shrubbery. [E!]
  • For all you Pippa Middleton haters, soak in the schadenfreude — she's facing some serious legal trouble over that whole fake gun gag. [People]