In case you were wondering if the world was going to be filled with tiny, even more adorkable versions of Zooey Deschanel anytime soon, the answer is probably not. In an interview with Marie Claire, Zooey was pretty clear that raising kids is not on the top of her priority list now—or maybe ever. So what does she want to do instead?

Work, of course! When asked about wanting to have kids, here's what she said, exactly:

That's never been my focus. My sister [Emily] was always very motherly, babysitting and stuff. I like kids, and I like being around kids — but it was never an ambition, something, like, I need … I like working. That's what I like doing. I like to work.

Fair enough—looks like Zooey Deschanel is the female Jon Hamm. Except, unlike Jon Hamm, she isn't dating anyone, "Honestly, I'm just going through a divorce, so I don't really think that's something I want to get into now. I don't have time to date. I literally — don't-have-time." Literally. So, there you have it: her relationship status and womb prognosis, all in one handy interview. [Just Jared]

Police have arrested a Canadian actress for stalking Alec Baldwin. Allegedly Genevieve Sabourin, 40, repeatedly tried to contact him by email and then started following him person, both in the Hamptons and Manhattan. She apparently wanted to have Baldwin's "love, his baby and also some of his money." Baldwin contacted the police, who tracked her down and nabbed her. In this case, calling the cops seems like a far better strategy than the one he usually employs: Getting his Twitter followers to attack on his behalf. [Ministry of Gossip]

Speaking of Alec Baldwin, Kristen Wiig was on his podcast and chatted about her potential exit from Saturday Night Live. She wouldn't confirm that she'll leave at the end of the season, but she does sound a lot like a person who's at least thought a lot about it. She says,

I will say that when I do leave it's not because I'm sick of it and not because I see something better or anything like that. It's just that it's time. When I do leave, it will be the hardest're there for a week and on Saturday night you're sad because you leave these people.

We'd better start preparing ourselves now, because this goodbye is not going to be pretty. It will probably even necessitate a few weeks worth of "Someone Like You"-induced cleansing cries. [E!]

Ladies, Jennifer Love Hewitt has a pro tip for attracting male attention: Vanilla extract. Really? Alright, let's hear her out. She explains her strategy:

I carry McCormick's Pure Vanilla [in my purse] — the baking kind — and dab it on my neck. Men are attracted to the scent! One time, I put it on and four different guys were like, "You smell amazing!"

The proof is in the vanilla pudding, apparently. [Us]

Prince Harry spent his Easter weekend communing with vampires. Well, maybe not actual bloodsuckers, but he was in Transylvania, home of Dracula. He was hosted by Count Tibor Kalnoky, "scion of an ancient Transylvanian family." Time to drive yourself wild by letting your Royal family fantasies mingle dangerously with your Twilight fantasies. [USA Today]

  • Now that Kate Winslet made it look cool after she went public with her hatred of the Titanic song, James Van Der Beek is riding her coattails. He's announced that the theme song from Dawson's Creek, "makes him want to hide somewhere." And now please go forth and enjoy the sweet sounds of Paula Cole's "I Don't Want to Wait" as it plays on repeat in your head for eternity. [Celebuzz]
  • Beyonce and Jay-Z took Blue Ivy on a boat while vacationing in St. Barts. Please tell us she was wearing a tiny gold and leopard print life jacket the whole time? [Just Jared]
  • Eva Longoria was spotted at LAX heading for a flight in a "casual" outfit of jeans, a white shirt, two bag and some shoes. NBD, except it turns out the whole ensemble cost a whopping $12,000. That is insane. It was mostly the bags, but still, you have to draw the line somewhere. Also, why would you want to expose such expensive items to the filth of an airplane? [Us]
  • While we're on the topic of expensive things, Whitney Houston's funeral apparently cost the state of New Jersey $187,000 in police overtime. [E!]
  • Just so you know, Justin Bieber's tricked out sports car is not abiding by the laws of Los Angeles. No, it's not because it's too fast or too dangerous. It's because there's a row of fuchsia lights under the front grill, and legally you're only allowed to have white and amber lights that face forward. That is the most hilarious vehicle violation ever. [TMZ]
  • Today is Kristin Stewart's 22nd birthday. (She's only 22? Christ, we'd better pace ourselves because we have many more years of reading gossip about her life.) She and some friends—yes, including her "special friend" Robert Pattinson—celebrated this past weekend by drinking and spreading general good cheer at a bar in L.A. [E!]
  • Katherine Heigl has opened up about how she struggled after first adopting her daughter Naleigh, who is now four. She told German newspaper, Bild am Sonntag,"People are always talking about the strong bond between mother and daughter, this magical connection – but we didn't have that." She said called the beginning of her time with her daughter, "the hardest time in my life. ... I fought incredibly hard for my daughter to accept me as mother. Her rejection almost broke my heart." You have to hand it to Heigl for being open and honest about something that must not be easy to talk about. Not to worry, though, the two now have a very close bond. [People]
  • There's a biopic being made about Pam Grier, and she reportedly wants to be played by Halle Berry because, well, who among us would not like to be played by Halle Berry? There's no word yet on whether her actress of choice is available and/or willing to take on the role. [The Grio]
  • Talk about adding insult to injury: Apparently after she was released following her arrest for a DUI early Friday morning, Amanda Bynes returned to the bar at the Standard Hotel where she'd been drinking before driving drunk. She wanted to keep partying, but they turned her away at the door. Let us be the first to not congratulate you on this monumentally stupid move. [TMZ]
  • Gabrielle Union would like you to know that, despite what the media said, she was not responsible for breaking up Dwyane Wade's marriage to his wife, Siohvaughn Funches. Please make a note of it. [Us]
  • Well, here's a Passover guest list no one could have ever predicted. (Well, except the people who were on the email invite, probably.) Minka Kelly had Seder with Mandy Moore and some other friends. Moore, you might remember if you have a brain that refuses to forget even the most trivial of information, used to date Wilmer Valderrama. You might also remember that Minka Kelly is supposedly dating Valderrama right now. Awkward? Probably not since Moore and Kelly look totally cozy in a picture they tweeted out, and also Moore's husband, Ryan Adams, joined in the festivities too. [E!]
  • Have you been depressed about the split of Chord Overstreet and Emma Roberts? Well, turn that frown upside down. They're back together! [E!]
  • Even though he's reported to have died from natural causes, the body of painter Thomas Kinkade, who died on Friday, will undergo an autopsy today. [AP]